Are you traveling with kids this summer? Planning a family vacation to a great National Park, a theme park, or great-grandma's house? Does thinking about 11 hours held captive (via seatbelt) in the family car make you want to run and hide under the kitchen table?
Take heart brave soul! Travel with kids (or teens) CAN be fun. Crawl out from under that table and I'll fill you in on some great tips:
1. Plan plan plan. As in, every last little detail. Leave nothing to chance. The more prepared you are, the less anxiety you will feel. Plan your clothing needs, your kids' clothing needs, the rest stops, meals, snacks, some activities en route, some activities once you get there, lodging, medication issues (don't forget to the call your pharmacist and ask if anti-nausea medication is appropriate for your child who tends towards motion sickness), car tune up prior to departure, and any gifts you want to bring with you for friends or family. Better still, involve your kids and teens in the planning too! They will take more ownership for the trip this way, vs. feeling as if they're being dragged along.
2. Boredom isn't terminal. Driving or riding in a car can be boring. So what. Plan some activities (notice I said "some") for the car trip itself, but once you run out of ideas, allow your kids to experience boredom. Many creative games, ideas, and inventions are birthed in kids' minds while the family cruises down the interstate. On the trip back, the kids (and you!) will need that boredom/quiet time to process all the fun events that occurred during your vacation. For younger kids, supply a few small toy people and animal figures for them to play out the events of the trip while you drive home.
3. Take sufficient stretch breaks. Stop somewhere scenic for lunch, walk around the rest stop and look at the vegetation or the ubiquitous maps, and maybe even bring a hula hoop or jump rope to help squirmy little ones expend some of their energy.
4. Employ a token system to reduce arguing or bickering among siblings. Provide each child with a roll of quarters at the outset of your trip. Tell them that each time you have to intervene for complaining or bickering, you will "fine" the child or children one quarter. What quarters each child has left once you reach your destination is theirs to spend. Repeat for the homeward bound leg of the journey with new rolls of quarters. If a whole roll of quarters seems like too much (or too little) money, adjust by using dimes, nickels, or (for teens), $100 bills (just kidding!). But truly, $10 each way for each child is a bargain in my book, given how much more peaceful your trip will be. And you were going to give them spending money anyway, so why not try this easy way to keep the peace and encourage your kids to practice peaceful conflict resolution and self-regulation. This is NOT bribing. Bribing is a term that is generally reserved for illegal actions used to gain favor. Rewarding children for positive behaviors (they get to keep all their quarters) and penalizing them for negative ones is in no way a bribe; it helps them learn self control and gives them choices. Consider this: If the state police allow you to keep your $150 because you drive the speed limit vs. the police requiring you to pay $150 to the county (via the speeding ticket they issued you) for your choice to drive faster than the posted speed limit, would you say the state police force are "bribing" you to drive 65mph? No, it's behavior modification, and the choice to keep $150 or give it to the state is entirely within your control.
5. If your child/teen will be the only minor traveling with you, see if they would like to invite a friend along. They will love you forever (well, maybe), you will lessen the load on yourself, and your child will have even more fun because everything (even a boring car trip) is a party when your best friend is with you. Remember to get written permission from that child's parents as well as permission from them granting you power to agree to emergency medical care if needed.
6. Things likely won't go as planned. Roads are closed for construction, the hotel overbooked, little Juan hates the pool, you and your other half bicker to the extent that you hand HIM a roll of quarters, and the forgotten sunscreen leads to an uncomfortable night of fitful sleep for everyone. Stuff happens. It's part of the journey! It's ok. It doesn't have to be perfect. Vacations, road trips, and families are imperfect. Take some deep breaths, let go of your need for perfection, and keep moving forward.
7. Enjoy the trip! Kids are 4 years old only once. They're also only 5, 6, 7, 12, 15, and 17 only once. My little ones are big, grown up ones now, and family road trips are incredibly rare. Take photos of your child and you together, especially "selfies" of you all crowded together where ever you go. Cherish each day with your kids, and remember that these precious years fly by. Go make some memories. Don't forget to send me a post card!
Happy trails!
