How to Help Your Children Handle School Closures During a Pandemic

The Coronavirus has caused a pandemic, which has lead to schools, libraries, cities, and companies shutting their doors worldwide to prevent the spread of this virus.

With kids and teens home from school, it may be difficult to find things to keep them busy, safe, and healthy.

If you have children or grandchildren who are home due to school closures, here are a few ideas to help them during this most challenging time:

1.  First, please don't panic.  Children need your strength and stability.  So please share your deepest, darkest fears with supportive ADULTS (your spouse, friends, clergy, support groups, mental health providers), not with children.

2.  Do, however, open up the dialogue to talking about uncertainties.  Remind children that staying at home is much preferable to being sick and spreading this virus to other people.  Be matter-of-fact and do not blame anyone during these conversations.

3.  As much as you are able, maintain a daily routine and structure.  THIS IS SO IMPORTANT.  All humans need structure.  Routines and structure reduce the anxiety we experience over uncertainty.  They provide concrete boundaries for daily tasks and events (even play has an appropriate time limit).  And routines and structure provide continuity in life, which helps to reduce the subjective feeling of free-falling through space that is becoming the norm for kids and teens worldwide.

4.  Try to help kids stay connected to friends via texts and through other technology as often as is reasonable.  Introverted kids (and adults too) may need some encouragement to reach out to friends.

5.  And, while we're talking about technology, please limit screen time, especially exposure to sensational or disturbing news or programs.  Spending 10 hours per day on first person shooter games or with eyes glued to their tablet is not healthy.  Actual human interaction, eye contact, conversations, constructive and enjoyable non-screen hobbies, exercise (go on a walk with your kids, or ride bikes together), family board game nights, volunteer activities, time with pets, time spent outdoors enjoying nature, spiritual practices, and (yes) chores are part of life too.  If you're having trouble limiting screen time, then...

6.  Organize daily chores for kids to do PRIOR TO having access to their technology of choice.  They will grumble and complain, and within a few days (or a week, give or take...) this will be the new norm.  Turn on WiFi as soon as you have checked that they have completed their chores to a reasonable (not perfect) standard.

7.  Use this opportunity to do things together.  Prepare food WITH your kids.  Plan meals together.  Make snacks and bake treats with your kids.  This fosters healthy family relationships, teaches kids useful grown up skills, and proves to themselves that they are important and capable of learning to take care of themselves.  And preparing food for the family is a creative and giving activity that you get to share jointly with your kids.

8.  Reassure your kids that we as a global family are in this together and that we will get through this.

Yes we will.

Be well, and take care of yourself and others too as you are able!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

Why Not to Panic About Coronavirus

So, by now the world has heard of COVID-19 (Coronavirus Disease 2019).  Here is a Johns Hopkins Whiting School of Engineering dashboard to keep up-to-date on the spread of this illness.  It lists total cases confirmed worldwide, total deaths, and total recovered.

So, feel free to click the link and go assure yourself that (at the time I'm writing this) the overwhelming majority of people who have contracted this illness are recovering from it!  That is why I'm suggesting not to panic.

Please take the precautions that the World Health Organization suggests here.  If you are immune-compromised in any way, or are otherwise at high risk for contracting COVID-19, contact your primary medical provider this week and follow their suggested plan to avoid getting sick, a plan specific for YOU.  Do not panic.  If you do happen to get sick, contact your primary medical provider and carefully follow their instructions for treatment.

Now that those public service announcement-type suggestions are out of the way, here are health statistics that are also incredibly important to acknowledge:

Every year, according to the United Nations, 50,000 women are killed by their intimate partners or family members.

Why isn't THIS issue causing widespread global panic?  50,000 preventable deaths annually.  That's about 4167 women dying per month from being murdered by an intimate partner or a family member.

Why is something soooo preventable such as domestic violence not being touted as a "pandemic?"

Hmm.

Yes, please use hand sanitizer, cough into your elbow, don't touch your face unless you just washed your hands, and wear a mask in order to prevent contracting and spreading COVID-19.

However, ending domestic violence will take so much more.  For starters, you can read up on boundaries, co-dependency, assertiveness, and communication; stay connected (or build connections) to healthy friends and other social supports; advocate for social justice everywhere (work, school, home, community, the legal and court system, your workplace, religious organizations); work to improve access to resources (especially financial, education, and health care) for all humans; learn to recognize the signs of domestic violence; take a strong stance against violence towards all humans (this includes standing up for abused children and for victims of bullying); help victims get out and get treatment as soon as possible; help perpetrators be held accountable and get treatment as soon as possible; advocate for women's rights, educate yourself and share the knowledge with others on how to spot a batterer early in a relationship, and then as a global family, we can end this global domestic violence pandemic together.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse from an intimate partner, roommate, family member, or someone else, please contact the USA based National Domestic Violence Hotline either on the internet here (if you don't fear the abuser discovering you visited that website) or call 1-800-799-7233.  It's free and confidential.  Be safe.  Be strong.  You are important!