Mindfulness for Stress Reduction

Mindfulness can be an excellent tool to help reduce your experience of stress and help you to live a better life.

Mindfulness is simply being aware of your present situation, emotions, environment, body, thoughts, etc.

Let me give you an example: 

You and your teen-ager are discussing their use of the car this Friday night to go to a school function.  You say that this privilege is contingent upon their completing three missing assignments in math class.  Your teen begins to whine, complain, and resist.  Your blood pressure rises, as does the volume of your voice.  Then your teen gets defensive.  Before you know it, both you and your teen are in a full blown argument.  How did that happen again?

Without self-awareness and other-awareness, situations like this will continue to play out until your little darlin' launches off to college, career, or the military.

How do you practice mindfulness?

Good news!  Mindfulness is a learnable skill.  Here is a quick way (of many ways) to begin using mindfulness:

Take a deep breath.

Seriously.

Five or six in a row.

And just observe how you're feeling, what you're seeing, if your jaw or shoulders are clinched, what sounds you're hearing.

And pause.

Practicing mindfulness when you are alone and not agitated is a great way to improve the skill, so that when you ARE in a situation like I described above, you will be able to calm your nervous system and be able to think and act in a calmer way.

Try it, not just for a few times, but for a few times per day for several weeks.  Your experience of day-to-day stress is likely to drop, if not a large amount, then at least a small (but not insignificant) amount.

I believe you'll be very surprised at the results.

Peace and calm to you,

Teresa

Teresa Heald, LCSW

Depression, Anxiety, Stress, and Irritability

Do you feel that recently you have developed a shorter temper?  

Do you become overly angry when someone cuts you off in traffic?

Are you grumpy for no reason?

Is it difficult to NOT take things personally at home, at work, at the grocery store, or with friends?

Do you frequently become impatient while standing in lines at the post office, cafe, or movie theater?

These are all examples of irritability.  

Irritability can be a symptom of depression or anxiety (and also of stress, lack of sleep, being really busy, and many other situations and conditions, so please don't try to diagnose yourself with depression or anxiety).

When we become irritable, we tend to say and do things that we may later regret.  Maybe not big things, but smaller things that impact our jobs, our marriages, our kids, our neighbors, our friends, and our larger communities.

If you suspect that your irritability may be a symptom of something else, perhaps it's time to get some professional help.  A good place to start is with your primary medical provider, or a counselor or psychotherapist.  These professionals can provide screening for depression and anxiety, and they can also treat these health condition so that you begin to feel better and not so grumpy.

You don't have to suffer with irritability.  

Be nice to yourself and get some help.

To your best health,

Teresa

Teresa Heald, LCSW

Test Anxiety

Are you a student?  Are final exams (sometimes called EOC's, or end of course exams) fast approaching?  Do you struggle with nervousness over taking tests?  

You might have test anxiety.

It's a thing.

It's not a mental disorder per se, but it is very real.  And the fall-out is real too:  individuals with test anxiety perform worse than their actual potential, and it can impact long-term quality of life.*

So, how do you "fix" it?

There are so many strategies to help you reduce text anxiety.  Here are a few general tips.

1.  It starts with good preparation the week or day before:  being well-prepared for a test will help you to feel more in control, and feeling more in control of a situation reduces the anxiety you will feel.  So, review your homework assignments, re-read or skim specific chapters, make flash cards (Quizlet.com allows you to make your own flash cards on your smart phone!) and complete the study guide given out by your instructor.

2.  Get a good night's sleep the night before your exam.  Here are some tips.

3.  On the day of the exam, try to eat a healthy breakfast, make sure you arrive at the test site early, and take deep breaths to lower your anxiety.  When anxious, humans take small, shallow breaths.  You want to breathe deeply, as if you were inhaling the aroma of a beautiful rose.

4.  Continue to breathe deeply during the test.  This will help you to think more clearly, and thus, perform better.

Bonne chance!

Teresa

Teresa Heald, LCSW

* Zwettler, C., Reiss, N., Rohrmann, S., Warnecke, I., Luka-Krausgrill, U., & van Dick, R. (2018). The relation between social identity and test anxiety in university students. Health psychology open, 5(2), 2055102918785415. https://doi.org/10.1177/2055102918785415  Retrieved on 04/20/2022 from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6069033/

How to Celebrate Safely

 So the holiday season approaches and brings up the big question:  how do we celebrate and stay safe from Covid?

Great question!

For the most up-to-the-minute health recommendations, follow this CDC link: 

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/prevention.html

Stay well!

Teresa

Teresa Heald, LCSW

Help for Infertility

Couples who want to conceive a child but can not achieve pregnancy successfully may experience many emotional challenges.  Infertility can lead to stress, depression, and anxiety, among other issues.1  

But here is some great news:  psychotherapy can increase the odds that a couple facing infertility can become pregnant.1   Isn't that exciting?!

In addition, talking to a psychotherapist may reduce depression, anxiety, and the distress that oftentimes accompany infertility treatment.1

A type of therapy, called cognitive behavioral therapy, actually works better than the anti-depressant medication fluoxetine in treating infertility stress.2 

Who knew that going to a therapist could increase the odds that a couple can achieve pregnancy?  

If you are struggling with infertility, perhaps seeing a psychotherapist or counselor trained in treating infertility would be a helpful addition to your treatment.  

Be well!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

1 Frederiksen,, Y., Farver-Vestergaard, I., Skovgard, N., et al. (2015).  Efficacy of psychosocial interventions for psychological and pregnancy outcomes in infertile women and men: a systematic review and meta-analysis.  British Medical Journal Open, 5(1). 

2  Faramarzi, M., Pasha, H., Esmialzadeh, S., et al. (2008).  The Effect of the The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Pharmacotherapy on Infertility Stress: A Randomized Controlled Trial.  Journal of Affective Disorders, 108(1-2), 159-64.

Easy Way to Increase Your Focus

Looking for an easy way to increase your ability to focus?  

Try a fidget!

Fidgets are anything you use that keeps your body in motion while doing a task.  We may tap our fingers, bounce our legs, click pens, squeeze stress putty, or fiddle with our nails or our keys.  

Research proves that fidgeting improves the ability to concentrate, especially in individuals with ADHD.  This article gives you more information on how fidgets improve your focus. 

Fidgets also help reduce the experience of anxiety and stress, and can help to calm a person who is mildly agitated.

Here's a great glow in the dark fidget that mimics popping bubble wrap, and you can use it over and over.  I got this one at amazon.com.  

You will probably want to mute your microphone if you're using a pop bubble fidget like this during a conference call or while attending a webinar.  It makes a very faint but noticeable sound.  

But not all fidgets make noise; most of them don't.  Fidgets come in many sizes; some are small enough to carry in your pocket or on your keychain.  And almost anything can become a fidget if it keeps your hands busy while you talk, read, listen, watch a training, attend a conference call, study, or contemplate your bank statements as you prepare for tax season.

Have fun while you focus!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

A Simple Way to Feel Less Anxious

Want a quick tip to help you feel less anxious?

Organize something.

Organizing is you exerting control over some group of objects, like your kitchen spices, a shelf full of books, or your sock drawer.

When you put something small or minor in order, you experience a greater sense of control, and that feeling of control lowers your anxiety. 

Try it for yourself and see if organizing something makes you feel a little less anxious.

Be well!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

 

How to Motivate Yourself to Accomplish Difficult Things

Motivation and goal achievement are hard enough.  It can be extremely difficult when you are living with depression, anxiety, or other health conditions.  

Or also if you're faced with something overwhelming and frightening, like...living through a global pandemic. 

So, here are a few quick tips to help you overcome your late January motivational slump:

1.  Make a list of your top two or three tasks per day (or per hour, depending upon your level of busyness and responsibilities.).  Cross them off when you do them.  Yay! It feels good to accomplish stuff!

2.  Plan a reward for each task completed that is in line with your new habit goal.  Think of low- or no-cost rewards, and consider your five senses too.  For example, I recommend using scented body wash and shampoo as a reward (actually a tool) to help people meet their waking up by _______ a.m./p.m. goal (whatever your be-out-of-bed goal happens to be).  So, let's say your wake up goal is 6:30 a.m.  On the days you get out of bed and into the shower before or by 6:30, you reward yourself with using the scented products.  If you don't make your goal, you use regular or unscented products.  (If you have allergies or sensory aversions to commercial scents, try adding a skin-safe essential oil to unscented products or light a natural candle as a reward).  Other rewards can include listening to a favorite song, watching the sunrise, petting your dog or cat, calling a friend, eating your preferred breakfast, or (wait for it) wearing a new pair of socks.  I know!  New socks feel amazing!  (It doesn't take much to thrill us during this pandemic, does it?) The possibilities for small rewards are endless.  

3.  Cut yourself some slack.  We are in the midst of a global pandemic that has turned our world upside down.  So, if you broke your new year's resolution to start exercising daily, then please stop beating yourself up.  Be kind to yourself!  Maybe shorten the goal to something more achievable, such as exercise three times per week, and instead of an hour (gah!) each time you do exercise, maybe start with, hmm, five minutes?  Smaller goals are less intimidating than big, scary ones, are easier to complete, and give you the satisfaction of making progress--however small--towards your best life.

Be immensely kind to yourself.  Change is difficult.  

If you're finding yourself really struggling with day-to-day life, you may benefit from seeing a counselor.  Many (including me) offer sessions via privacy-safe on-line platforms or via phone.  Some insurance companies are covering the entire cost for mental health services provided via telehealth or phone!  Call your insurer to find out what mental health benefits your policy covers*.

Now, since you accomplished reading this post to the end, go reward yourself with some Eagles music, a funny cat video, or a pair of nice fluffy socks.

Happy 2021!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

* If you do not have health insurance, or are under-insured, and are living in the United States, there are ways to access free or very low cost health services, including mental health counseling.  Your place of worship may offer free counseling, universities and colleges near your home may have an internship program that offers free counseling by supervised graduate students, or you can contact the National Health Service Corps.  You can find a location close to you here:  https://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/ or call them directly, their contact information is here: https://nhsc.hrsa.gov/about-us 

Holiday Stress Busters

 Let's get right to it:  you're stressed!  This time of year is very difficult for many people, especially with this year's social distancing and business/school/activity/fun restrictions.  (Yes, I did in fact say "fun" restrictions....)

Here are a few quick ideas on how to bring back some happy into your holidays:

1.  Spend time with a pet.  Animals are so wonderful. Take your dog out for a walk, just bundle up well if it's cold.  Or play with your cat (if they'll let you) or other critter.  You'll both feel better for it.

2.  Reduce your expectations.  We're all living through a global pandemic, so cut yourself some slack!  If you don't want to follow your holiday decorating, baking, or gift giving rituals, then DON'T.  Or scale back.  Instead of a bedazzled Christmas tree drooping from the weight of four generations of ornaments, and hearths overcrowded with enough poinsettias to poison every cat in Connecticut, step back, and afford yourself the luxury of doing things the easy way this year.  Put up a wreath.  Set up one candle display (advent, menorah, kinara, or other).  Bake ONE kind of cookie.  Whatever your spiritual or cultural practices are for this time of year, reduce your expectations!  No one will DIE if you do, and the reduced stress will help everyone's health.

3.  Keep what's most meaningful to you.  If you can't bear to live through this season without a bedazzled Christmas tree, then reduce other areas of holiday stress so that you KEEP what is most meaningful to you.  For example, I love to give gifts.  Love. It.  So, I planned, created, bought, wrapped, tagged, and sent.  But is my tree--bedazzled or less so--on display?  No, not this year.  I am maintaining the traditions that matter most to me, and reducing my participation in other holiday traditions to keep my family's stress levels manageable. 

4.  Set firm boundaries if you need to.  If you have relatives who are controlling, dismissive, difficult, or quite frankly abusive, then family events where they are present, even the Zoom-ed ones, can compromise your mental health.  Did you catch that?  Family events with people who treat you poorly can compromise your mental health.  So, set some boundaries for your well-being.  How?  Here are a few ideas:  

• Don't attend.  
• Show up with a friend (most mean people treat you nicer if you have a friend along).
• Set a short time limit, and leave the call or the gathering early.
• If you feel obligated to attend, be prepared with conversation topics to steer them away from abusing you.  Asking lighthearted questions keeps the focus on THEM and not on abusing YOU.
• Provide your own transportation to/from the event, if the event is in-person.  If you get into a car/train/Uber with them, you'll be a captive audience and at the mercy of their control.  Don't do it.
• Practice saying "no."  This is not a joke.  Google "how to say no" and you'll find over 3 BILLION links.  

Assertiveness has its perks.  A calm, enjoyable holiday is one of them!

Happy holidays!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

Do Weighted Blankets Help Lower Anxiety?

In one word, yes.  Research demonstrates that weighted blankets do appear to reduce anxiety.*

Perhaps you have seen or heard about weighted blankets, and are curious if such a blanket might help calm your anxious feelings of free-falling through space since Covid-19 turned this world upside down.

Weighted blankets are basically two thin, separate blankets sewn together, filled with batting and heavy beads.  The weight of the blanket is surprisingly comforting, as long as you select the correct weight.  I recommend choosing a blanket that weighs approximately 10% of your body weight, or as close to 10% as you can get.  You don't want to get one that's too heavy for your body size as it could feel uncomfortably heavy and restricting.  And too light of a blanket might not help reduce anxious feelings.  It could still keep you warm though.

I recently tried using a plush weighted blanket.  While it was soft and warm, the weight was definitely a bit too heavy for me; it was three pounds too much.  It made it difficult for me to to relax while sitting on the sofa because the blanket was too heavy.   But when one of my grown sons tried it out, he loved it so much that he didn't take it off his shoulders the entire time we were visiting.  The weight was just perfect for him.  So it's important to find a blanket that is a good fit for you, in terms of weight.

Some weighted blankets are machine washable.  That's the kind I recommend, because seriously, who needs to make an extra trip to the dry cleaners during a global pandemic?

While you don't need to have anxiety or a prescription in order to purchase a weighted blanket, it's still a good idea to talk to your health care provider (therapist, counselor, doctor, nurse practitioner, etc.) and ask them if using a weighted blanket might enhance your well-being.  

Be warm and merry!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

* Becklund AL, Rapp-McCall L, Nudo J. Using weighted blankets in an inpatient mental health hospital to decrease anxiety. J Integr Med. 2020; Epub ahead of print.  Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S209549642030131X on 11/30/2020.

* Vinson J, Powers J, Mosesso K. Weighted Blankets: Anxiety Reduction in Adult Patients Receiving Chemotherapy. Clinical Journal of Oncology Nursing. 2020 Aug;24(4):360-368. DOI: 10.1188/20.cjon.360-368.

* Burch, E., Hartog, K.D., Godfredsen, M., Jansen, M., The Use of Weighted Blankets in Patients With Anxiety. Northwestern College Dept. of Nursing.  April 2019.  Retrieved from https://nwcommons.nwciowa.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1016&context=celebrationofresearch on 11/30/2020.

Why Not to Panic About Coronavirus

So, by now the world has heard of COVID-19 (Coronavirus Disease 2019).  Here is a Johns Hopkins Whiting School of Engineering dashboard to keep up-to-date on the spread of this illness.  It lists total cases confirmed worldwide, total deaths, and total recovered.

So, feel free to click the link and go assure yourself that (at the time I'm writing this) the overwhelming majority of people who have contracted this illness are recovering from it!  That is why I'm suggesting not to panic.

Please take the precautions that the World Health Organization suggests here.  If you are immune-compromised in any way, or are otherwise at high risk for contracting COVID-19, contact your primary medical provider this week and follow their suggested plan to avoid getting sick, a plan specific for YOU.  Do not panic.  If you do happen to get sick, contact your primary medical provider and carefully follow their instructions for treatment.

Now that those public service announcement-type suggestions are out of the way, here are health statistics that are also incredibly important to acknowledge:

Every year, according to the United Nations, 50,000 women are killed by their intimate partners or family members.

Why isn't THIS issue causing widespread global panic?  50,000 preventable deaths annually.  That's about 4167 women dying per month from being murdered by an intimate partner or a family member.

Why is something soooo preventable such as domestic violence not being touted as a "pandemic?"

Hmm.

Yes, please use hand sanitizer, cough into your elbow, don't touch your face unless you just washed your hands, and wear a mask in order to prevent contracting and spreading COVID-19.

However, ending domestic violence will take so much more.  For starters, you can read up on boundaries, co-dependency, assertiveness, and communication; stay connected (or build connections) to healthy friends and other social supports; advocate for social justice everywhere (work, school, home, community, the legal and court system, your workplace, religious organizations); work to improve access to resources (especially financial, education, and health care) for all humans; learn to recognize the signs of domestic violence; take a strong stance against violence towards all humans (this includes standing up for abused children and for victims of bullying); help victims get out and get treatment as soon as possible; help perpetrators be held accountable and get treatment as soon as possible; advocate for women's rights, educate yourself and share the knowledge with others on how to spot a batterer early in a relationship, and then as a global family, we can end this global domestic violence pandemic together.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse from an intimate partner, roommate, family member, or someone else, please contact the USA based National Domestic Violence Hotline either on the internet here (if you don't fear the abuser discovering you visited that website) or call 1-800-799-7233.  It's free and confidential.  Be safe.  Be strong.  You are important!

Self Care for Parents of Struggling Kids

Has your child been diagnosed with a mental disorder such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, or PTSD?  If so, you as parent need to up your game in the realm of your own self care.

"Why increase the time and attention I give myself when it's my KID that's struggling?" you may ask.

Good question!

The answer is simple:  if the caregiver goes down, the whole family suffers.

Self care is not an option for any parent, especially a parent of a child with special needs.  Self care goes beyond lattes and pedicures, and is a lifestyle of nurturing yourself for optimal well-being.

Just being aware of your own needs and setting aside a bit of time daily to meet some of those needs will go a long long way towards keeping you emotionally and physically capable of navigating the difficult waters of raising a special needs child.

Carve out some time for you--DAILY--and you and your child will reap the benefits of a calmer, more engaged, and (dare I say) happier parent.

Be well!

The Life Changing Magic of Managing Paperwork (with ADHD!)

Individuals living with ADHD have so many strengths.  But generally speaking, managing paperwork isn't one of them.  Mismanagement of household paper flow can cause you to experience increased stress:  paying missed session fees to doctors and other medical offices for missed appointments, incurring late fees for misplaced bills, missing events due to lost invitations, and experiencing anxiety due to feeling out of control when it comes to paperwork.

I'm here to help you get control of your papers, especially if you have ADHD.

Here's something to try for getting control of your backlog of papers (with apologies to Marie Kondo):

There are three things to do with any given piece of paper.  Ready?

1.  Act

2.  File

3.  Out

It's really this simple.

Depending upon your age, responsibilities, amount of paper you already have, and the volume of paper coming in, this simple process can take an hour or two, or a month or two of diligent, daily work.

To begin, gather two boxes or bins large enough to hold standard size office paper.  Label the boxes (with removable sticky notes or a thick marker) "Act" and "File."

You will also need a trash can and a cross cut paper shredder:  these are for the Out category.

Set a timer for 10 minutes, yes, just 10 minutes.  Pick up a small stack of random paper and beginning with the top paper DECIDE RIGHT THEN its home:  Act, File, Out (trash/recycle or shred).

When the timer rings, put the Act and File boxes away, put away any remaining papers you didn't have time to go through (as in, put them back on top of the stack from which you grabbed them in the first place), take out the trash/recycling, and put away the shredder.

Reward yourself in some small way after each 10 minute session:  a cup of your favorite flavored drink, a quick call to your best friend, your favorite low calorie snack, a short bike ride to watch the sunset, light a pretty candle, or give yourself a foot massage.  Rewarding yourself after an unfavorable job can help you get through it, and sets you up to perhaps look forward to the next paper management session.

This is the process of managing your backlog, over and over and over.

I will write soon on how to create an easy-to-use filing system, and on a daily/weekly paper flow routine to keep incoming paper from overwhelming you.

But this is a great start!

More Quick Tips for Managing Anxiety

Do you worry a lot?  Do you feel nervous, do your palms feel sweaty, are your muscles tense, or do you feel a little nauseous in unfamiliar or even normal day-to-day interactions?

These can all be symptoms of anxiety.  Every one of us has, at one time or another, experienced one or some of the above symptoms.  Of course, only a mental or medical health professional can accurately diagnose and treat a true anxiety disorder, but here are a few quick tips to help when you experience feelings of anxiety:

1.  Breathe.  Without noticing it, oftentimes when we are nervous our breathing becomes shallow, making us feel more tense.  Taking several deep breaths can really help to reduce your in-the-moment feelings of anxiety.  And you can do this anywhere:  in the line at the grocery store, while sitting in traffic, around the dinner table with your in-laws, and while discussing curfew and driving privileges with your 16 year-old.

2.  Reduce your caffeine intake.  Caffeine is a stimulant and can increase your feelings of jitteriness and anxiety.  Limit your intake of caffeine, especially around times of change and unfamiliar situations.

3.  Plan ahead and prepare.  Some feelings of anxiety arise because you have a big project or deadline looming ahead of you and you feel unprepared.  One way to feel less anxious is to assume more control of a situation.  A great way to do this is through careful planning and following through with your plans.  Planning and preparing ahead can help to alleviate some of those anxious feelings.

Be well!

8 Keys to Stress Management

Are you tense?  Fatigued?  Feel as if your brain is foggy?  These can all be signs of too much stress!  If daily life is wearing you down, try a few of these tips and start to feel better today.

1.  Make a list of your current top five stressors.  Perhaps it's your son's recent fender bender, your aging cat's health problems, a leaky roof, an important work or school deadline, an overdue bill, or the surprising number on your bathroom scale.  List the top five things that cause you stress when you think about them.  Simply identifying your stressors helps to increase your sense of control over these situations.

2.  Identify and write down one small step you can take to reducing the impact that each issue is having on your life.  For example, call your insurance about your son's minor car accident, schedule time to take your cat to the vet, call one roofing company for a quote, schedule just 10 minutes to work towards your deadline, or call your neighbor and plan to take her up on walking around the neighborhood every Saturday morning for exercise and friendship.

3.  Take one action right now.  Yes, right now!  Make a call, schedule an appointment, write in your planner or set an email or phone reminder to spend just 10 minutes working towards addressing one of your stressors.  A phone call or email can take just a minute or two, if you let go of perfectionism and set a time limit for yourself.  Here's an example of a one minute phone call:  "Hello Maria?  Hi!  Hey, I just have a minute, but I was calling to see if you still walk on Saturday mornings and if you would like some company.  Oh that's great!  I'd love to meet you at 9 o'clock.  I gotta run now, but I look forward to seeing you on Saturday.  Ok, bye!"  That wasn't so hard, was it?

4.  Use a timer.  Having too much to do at home increases your feelings of being stressed.  Here is an idea to make your daily life less stressful:  Set a timer for a short duration (like 20 minutes) and perform urgent but mundane chores such as loading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, and cleaning the toilets.  Try to beat the timer.  Stop when the timer goes off.   The results?  A less dirty house, a less stressful you.  Do this every day or so and the cumulative results will surprise you (and leave you less stressed)!

5. Reduce your expectations for things that are less important.  Such as...?  The dust on the tv screen.  A perfectly mopped kitchen floor.  Homemade ranch dressing (sheesh honey, buy it pre-made in the bottle already).  You don't have to be Suzy Homemaker.  You need to have healthy, safe, and clean conditions where they matter (dishes, food prep and food freshness, no rotting trash inside the house).  But consider lowering your standards in areas that are stressing you out but that do not impact health and well-being.  Maybe you don't have to crochet an afghan for your neighbor's baby shower;  a pre-made blanket will suffice and save you lots of time and stress.  Maybe you don't have to chop fresh vegetables every week for your kids' snacks.  Maybe buying a pre-made veggie tray at the grocery store every week will not only save you time but worry that you are not feeding your family healthy food.

6.  Brain dump daily.  The term "brain dump" has always sounded silly to me,  so I never wanted to do it.  Within this past year, however, stress levels in my life reached a critical level, so I determined to do everything in my power to regain my sense of effectiveness and reduce my stress.  I decided to try the silly brain dump thing.  I sat down with a pen and paper and got everything that was nagging at the back of my mind written down in one fell swoop (or brain dump).  Big things, tiny things, insignificant things.  I wrote them all on paper.  Then, I went down the list and on another piece of paper I re-wrote each item, placing it into a specific category.  For example, a few of my categories were Work, Family/Friends, Self Care, Home, Finances, Food/Meals.  The next morning, I started on my list, picking out tasks I decided were priorities from each category.  As I completed a task, I crossed it off.  At the end of that night, I re-wrote my categories, leaving out the things I crossed off as done, and added any new tasks that had come up that day.  I repeated this process daily.  Guess what?  Within one week my productivity skyrocketed and my daily experience of stress dropped.   I continue using this brain dump productivity method to this day.  I get more done now than I ever have, yet I'm not stressed like I used to be just a few months ago!   And here's the kicker: tomorrow is Saturday, traditionally the day of endless household chores and mundane but necessary errands for every adult in this country.  But you know what my brain dump list for tomorrow looks like?   Do you know how many items it has on it?  Two.  Seriously.  Just two.  Try this brain dump nonsense.  TRY IT.  You won't regret it one bit.

You can do this too.  You can reduce your stress and become more effective at being the best YOU you can be!  Pick something from this list and try it today!

5 Quick Ways to Manage Anxiety

Anxiety is a normal part of being human.  However, the feelings of worry, fear, and "jumpy-ness" that many of us experience in new or unusual circumstances can impact our enjoyment of and ability to function our best in those situations.

Here are five quick tips to help you manage your anxiety so you can live your very best life, even in new or unfamiliar situations:

1.  Recognize how your body is feeling (tense, shallow breathing) and BREATHE.  Yes, it sounds simplistic, but it really helps.  Deep breaths are best.  Try this:  breathe in for 8 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds.  Repeat this 6 or so times and you will begin to feel better.

2.  Talk to yourself.  Remind yourself that this is a new situation and that most people feel a little tense when encountering an unfamiliar situation.  Tell yourself you can find enjoyment in this, and that it's totally ok to feel tense.  Tell yourself to breathe.  Tell yourself you can do this!

3.  Write down your feelings.  A few minutes before you encounter a new situation, write about your feelings and fears in a small journal or smart phone note-taking system.  The act of writing down your anxiety will likely reduce your tense feelings.

4.  Don't go it alone.  Bring along a friend for moral support, especially someone fun, caring, extroverted, or a go-getter.  Let's say you have a scary medical procedure to attend.  Ask a friend to come along (and hang out in the lobby) for moral support.  We are social creatures (even the introverted ones among us!), and any new or anxiety-promoting event can be made less scary when someone familiar to us, who cares about us, comes along.  If no one is able to come with you, then bookend:  call a friend before you face that scary new situation, and then call them afterward to check in.  This technique helps you feel less alone and more supported.

5.  Plan a reward for afterward.  This is classical conditioning at its best:  remember Pavlov's dog?  Ring a bell, feed the dog.  Ring a bell, feed the dog.  Ring a bell, the dog drools (in anticipation of being fed).  My mother practiced classical conditioning with me when I was two years old and needed extensive dental work.  She took me shopping after my appointments and bought me a small toy.  It worked.  I never worried about going to the dentist, ever.  In fact, it worked so well that I look forward to going to the dentist now, almost 5 decades later.   Go to the dentist, get a fun toy.  Go to the dentist, get a fun toy.  Go to the dentist, get excited and anticipate FUN!  You can do this too.  Think of some enjoyable reward that you will provide for yourself after your scary event:  browse in a museum, stop for frozen yogurt, purchase some small specialty item at the gourmet shop or farmer's market, get a pedicure, purchase a new tool for your favorite hobby, spend time at your favorite park or nature reserve.  Plan something enjoyable for afterward, and see if that doesn't help calm some of your anxiety NOW and begin to condition you for facing unfamiliar events in the future.

All the best,
Teresa