Mindfulness for Stress Reduction

Mindfulness can be an excellent tool to help reduce your experience of stress and help you to live a better life.

Mindfulness is simply being aware of your present situation, emotions, environment, body, thoughts, etc.

Let me give you an example: 

You and your teen-ager are discussing their use of the car this Friday night to go to a school function.  You say that this privilege is contingent upon their completing three missing assignments in math class.  Your teen begins to whine, complain, and resist.  Your blood pressure rises, as does the volume of your voice.  Then your teen gets defensive.  Before you know it, both you and your teen are in a full blown argument.  How did that happen again?

Without self-awareness and other-awareness, situations like this will continue to play out until your little darlin' launches off to college, career, or the military.

How do you practice mindfulness?

Good news!  Mindfulness is a learnable skill.  Here is a quick way (of many ways) to begin using mindfulness:

Take a deep breath.

Seriously.

Five or six in a row.

And just observe how you're feeling, what you're seeing, if your jaw or shoulders are clinched, what sounds you're hearing.

And pause.

Practicing mindfulness when you are alone and not agitated is a great way to improve the skill, so that when you ARE in a situation like I described above, you will be able to calm your nervous system and be able to think and act in a calmer way.

Try it, not just for a few times, but for a few times per day for several weeks.  Your experience of day-to-day stress is likely to drop, if not a large amount, then at least a small (but not insignificant) amount.

I believe you'll be very surprised at the results.

Peace and calm to you,

Teresa

Teresa Heald, LCSW

Depression, Anxiety, Stress, and Irritability

Do you feel that recently you have developed a shorter temper?  

Do you become overly angry when someone cuts you off in traffic?

Are you grumpy for no reason?

Is it difficult to NOT take things personally at home, at work, at the grocery store, or with friends?

Do you frequently become impatient while standing in lines at the post office, cafe, or movie theater?

These are all examples of irritability.  

Irritability can be a symptom of depression or anxiety (and also of stress, lack of sleep, being really busy, and many other situations and conditions, so please don't try to diagnose yourself with depression or anxiety).

When we become irritable, we tend to say and do things that we may later regret.  Maybe not big things, but smaller things that impact our jobs, our marriages, our kids, our neighbors, our friends, and our larger communities.

If you suspect that your irritability may be a symptom of something else, perhaps it's time to get some professional help.  A good place to start is with your primary medical provider, or a counselor or psychotherapist.  These professionals can provide screening for depression and anxiety, and they can also treat these health condition so that you begin to feel better and not so grumpy.

You don't have to suffer with irritability.  

Be nice to yourself and get some help.

To your best health,

Teresa

Teresa Heald, LCSW

How to Celebrate Safely

 So the holiday season approaches and brings up the big question:  how do we celebrate and stay safe from Covid?

Great question!

For the most up-to-the-minute health recommendations, follow this CDC link: 

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/prevention.html

Stay well!

Teresa

Teresa Heald, LCSW

Please Get Vaccinated for Your Neighbors' Sake!

Fellow Idahoans, as a mental health care professional, I am strongly urging you to go get vaccinated against Covid-19.  Governor Little had to activate the National Guard three days ago because we are down to FOUR (yes, just four) ICU hospital beds available in our entire state. *

These beds are being taken up mostly by unvaccinated people.

The situation in our great state is COMPLETELY unnecessary if all the unvaccinated Idahoans would simply go to their closest pharmacy and get the COMPLETELY FREE vaccine!  

If you won't do it for yourself, please go get vaccinated to protect your friends, neighbors, immune-compromised individuals, and all the children under age 12 who CAN'T get vaccinated yet.  

Covid is KILLING Idahoans.  Every. Single. Day.

And it's so unnecessary!

Idaho, we can do SO much better. 

If you're worried about it being "safe" to get vaccinated, well the FDA granted full approval of the Pfizer vaccine just over a week ago.**  Yay!!  This means it's proven to be as safe as your standard flu shot that most of us get each fall.  

We don't overthink getting a flu shot.  

So let's stop overthinking getting a Covid shot.  

I've been vaccinated since late winter.  I'm doing whatever I can to not be a petri dish of Covid for the people around me, including my 10 year-old grandson.

Please, just do it.

Please, friends.  Go get vaccinated!

With heartfelt love to you all, from a born-and-raised in Idaho gal,

Teresa

Tereas Heald, LCSW

* https://gov.idaho.gov/pressrelease/gov-little-activates-national-guard-again-directs-hundreds-of-new-medical-personnel-to-help-idaho-hospitals-overwhelmed-with-unvaccinated-covid-19-patients/

**https://www.fda.gov/news-events/press-announcements/fda-approves-first-covid-19-vaccine

Heat Wave

 If you live out West, you already know that temperatures are reaching triple digits.

This puts many people at risk of heat-related illness, hospitalization, and possible death.*  

The CDC has a free pdf on risks and how to prevent heat-related illness.*

The CDC report shows that the risk for hospitalization is highest for people 85 years and older.  

Other risk factors for heat-related illness are 

• infants and young children, 
• people with medical conditions, 
• those who are socially isolated (oh yeah, thanks Covid), 
• those who participate in strenuous physical activities (such as athletes and people working without air conditioning) and 
• people living in poverty.*

What to do?

Educate yourself on signs of heat exhaustion and heat stroke.*

Stay hydrated, out of the sun, and in air conditioned buildings or vehicles if possible.

During extreme weather conditions such as high temperatures, please check in on your friends, family, and neighbors to make sure that they are safe and staying cool and hydrated.  This includes pets too.

Never leave a vulnerable person (child, disabled individual, elderly person) or a pet in a hot car!

If you're taking certain medications such as lithium**, it can put you at higher risk of dehydration.

If you have a mental health condition, please take extra precautions to stay hydrated, stay in temperature-controlled environments, and stick to your normal sleep schedule if possible.**

Be cool!😎

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

*https://www.cdc.gov/pictureofamerica/pdfs/picture_of_america_heat-related_illness.pdf

**https://www.npr.org/2019/09/04/757034136/how-high-heat-can-impact-mental-health

What To Do When You're Tired Of Everything Covid

No doubt about it: we're all tired of Covid and all the restrictions, changes, and challenges that have occurred over the past 14-15 months.  Many of us have lost friends and family members due to the virus.  My heart goes out to each of you who have experienced this heartbreak.

So there is grief over losses.  Sometimes from those big losses, sometimes from smaller losses.  

Please feel the feelings.  Even when they hurt.  This process takes time, and you will eventually feel better as you allow yourself to grieve.

So, in addition to feeling those feelings...what else can you do this week to feel better?

Get vaccinated.  

The sooner we all get our vaccines, the sooner we can all resume life with some amount of normalcy, and the sooner this pandemic will end.

Listen friends, are you worried about the long-term impacts of the vaccines?  I was too.  But not after I spoke with my doctor.

Earlier this year when I saw my dermatologist, our discussion immediately jumped to Covid.  Through our masks, we talked about the benefits and risks of the new vaccines.  When I mentioned that I was concerned because we don't yet know the long-term impacts of these new vaccines, my doctor said, "But we DO know the long-term impact of Covid.  People are DYING from it!"

This site from Johns Hopkins University reports over 3 millions deaths worldwide as of the date of this post.

Please, if you meet the age requirements and your doctor approves, go get vaccinated.

If you're in the USA, the CDC has a handy vaccine site locator.  Follow the link below to find a Covid vaccine location near you: 

https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/covid-19/reporting/vaccinefinder/about.html

If you're in the USA, it's totally FREE to get vaccinated, regardless of your insurance coverage and even if you have no insurance at all.

Let's wipe this rotten virus off the face of the planet!

To your best health!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

How to Motivate Yourself to Accomplish Difficult Things

Motivation and goal achievement are hard enough.  It can be extremely difficult when you are living with depression, anxiety, or other health conditions.  

Or also if you're faced with something overwhelming and frightening, like...living through a global pandemic. 

So, here are a few quick tips to help you overcome your late January motivational slump:

1.  Make a list of your top two or three tasks per day (or per hour, depending upon your level of busyness and responsibilities.).  Cross them off when you do them.  Yay! It feels good to accomplish stuff!

2.  Plan a reward for each task completed that is in line with your new habit goal.  Think of low- or no-cost rewards, and consider your five senses too.  For example, I recommend using scented body wash and shampoo as a reward (actually a tool) to help people meet their waking up by _______ a.m./p.m. goal (whatever your be-out-of-bed goal happens to be).  So, let's say your wake up goal is 6:30 a.m.  On the days you get out of bed and into the shower before or by 6:30, you reward yourself with using the scented products.  If you don't make your goal, you use regular or unscented products.  (If you have allergies or sensory aversions to commercial scents, try adding a skin-safe essential oil to unscented products or light a natural candle as a reward).  Other rewards can include listening to a favorite song, watching the sunrise, petting your dog or cat, calling a friend, eating your preferred breakfast, or (wait for it) wearing a new pair of socks.  I know!  New socks feel amazing!  (It doesn't take much to thrill us during this pandemic, does it?) The possibilities for small rewards are endless.  

3.  Cut yourself some slack.  We are in the midst of a global pandemic that has turned our world upside down.  So, if you broke your new year's resolution to start exercising daily, then please stop beating yourself up.  Be kind to yourself!  Maybe shorten the goal to something more achievable, such as exercise three times per week, and instead of an hour (gah!) each time you do exercise, maybe start with, hmm, five minutes?  Smaller goals are less intimidating than big, scary ones, are easier to complete, and give you the satisfaction of making progress--however small--towards your best life.

Be immensely kind to yourself.  Change is difficult.  

If you're finding yourself really struggling with day-to-day life, you may benefit from seeing a counselor.  Many (including me) offer sessions via privacy-safe on-line platforms or via phone.  Some insurance companies are covering the entire cost for mental health services provided via telehealth or phone!  Call your insurer to find out what mental health benefits your policy covers*.

Now, since you accomplished reading this post to the end, go reward yourself with some Eagles music, a funny cat video, or a pair of nice fluffy socks.

Happy 2021!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

* If you do not have health insurance, or are under-insured, and are living in the United States, there are ways to access free or very low cost health services, including mental health counseling.  Your place of worship may offer free counseling, universities and colleges near your home may have an internship program that offers free counseling by supervised graduate students, or you can contact the National Health Service Corps.  You can find a location close to you here:  https://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/ or call them directly, their contact information is here: https://nhsc.hrsa.gov/about-us 

Holiday Stress Busters

 Let's get right to it:  you're stressed!  This time of year is very difficult for many people, especially with this year's social distancing and business/school/activity/fun restrictions.  (Yes, I did in fact say "fun" restrictions....)

Here are a few quick ideas on how to bring back some happy into your holidays:

1.  Spend time with a pet.  Animals are so wonderful. Take your dog out for a walk, just bundle up well if it's cold.  Or play with your cat (if they'll let you) or other critter.  You'll both feel better for it.

2.  Reduce your expectations.  We're all living through a global pandemic, so cut yourself some slack!  If you don't want to follow your holiday decorating, baking, or gift giving rituals, then DON'T.  Or scale back.  Instead of a bedazzled Christmas tree drooping from the weight of four generations of ornaments, and hearths overcrowded with enough poinsettias to poison every cat in Connecticut, step back, and afford yourself the luxury of doing things the easy way this year.  Put up a wreath.  Set up one candle display (advent, menorah, kinara, or other).  Bake ONE kind of cookie.  Whatever your spiritual or cultural practices are for this time of year, reduce your expectations!  No one will DIE if you do, and the reduced stress will help everyone's health.

3.  Keep what's most meaningful to you.  If you can't bear to live through this season without a bedazzled Christmas tree, then reduce other areas of holiday stress so that you KEEP what is most meaningful to you.  For example, I love to give gifts.  Love. It.  So, I planned, created, bought, wrapped, tagged, and sent.  But is my tree--bedazzled or less so--on display?  No, not this year.  I am maintaining the traditions that matter most to me, and reducing my participation in other holiday traditions to keep my family's stress levels manageable. 

4.  Set firm boundaries if you need to.  If you have relatives who are controlling, dismissive, difficult, or quite frankly abusive, then family events where they are present, even the Zoom-ed ones, can compromise your mental health.  Did you catch that?  Family events with people who treat you poorly can compromise your mental health.  So, set some boundaries for your well-being.  How?  Here are a few ideas:  

• Don't attend.  
• Show up with a friend (most mean people treat you nicer if you have a friend along).
• Set a short time limit, and leave the call or the gathering early.
• If you feel obligated to attend, be prepared with conversation topics to steer them away from abusing you.  Asking lighthearted questions keeps the focus on THEM and not on abusing YOU.
• Provide your own transportation to/from the event, if the event is in-person.  If you get into a car/train/Uber with them, you'll be a captive audience and at the mercy of their control.  Don't do it.
• Practice saying "no."  This is not a joke.  Google "how to say no" and you'll find over 3 BILLION links.  

Assertiveness has its perks.  A calm, enjoyable holiday is one of them!

Happy holidays!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

Do Weighted Blankets Help Lower Anxiety?

In one word, yes.  Research demonstrates that weighted blankets do appear to reduce anxiety.*

Perhaps you have seen or heard about weighted blankets, and are curious if such a blanket might help calm your anxious feelings of free-falling through space since Covid-19 turned this world upside down.

Weighted blankets are basically two thin, separate blankets sewn together, filled with batting and heavy beads.  The weight of the blanket is surprisingly comforting, as long as you select the correct weight.  I recommend choosing a blanket that weighs approximately 10% of your body weight, or as close to 10% as you can get.  You don't want to get one that's too heavy for your body size as it could feel uncomfortably heavy and restricting.  And too light of a blanket might not help reduce anxious feelings.  It could still keep you warm though.

I recently tried using a plush weighted blanket.  While it was soft and warm, the weight was definitely a bit too heavy for me; it was three pounds too much.  It made it difficult for me to to relax while sitting on the sofa because the blanket was too heavy.   But when one of my grown sons tried it out, he loved it so much that he didn't take it off his shoulders the entire time we were visiting.  The weight was just perfect for him.  So it's important to find a blanket that is a good fit for you, in terms of weight.

Some weighted blankets are machine washable.  That's the kind I recommend, because seriously, who needs to make an extra trip to the dry cleaners during a global pandemic?

While you don't need to have anxiety or a prescription in order to purchase a weighted blanket, it's still a good idea to talk to your health care provider (therapist, counselor, doctor, nurse practitioner, etc.) and ask them if using a weighted blanket might enhance your well-being.  

Be warm and merry!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

* Becklund AL, Rapp-McCall L, Nudo J. Using weighted blankets in an inpatient mental health hospital to decrease anxiety. J Integr Med. 2020; Epub ahead of print.  Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S209549642030131X on 11/30/2020.

* Vinson J, Powers J, Mosesso K. Weighted Blankets: Anxiety Reduction in Adult Patients Receiving Chemotherapy. Clinical Journal of Oncology Nursing. 2020 Aug;24(4):360-368. DOI: 10.1188/20.cjon.360-368.

* Burch, E., Hartog, K.D., Godfredsen, M., Jansen, M., The Use of Weighted Blankets in Patients With Anxiety. Northwestern College Dept. of Nursing.  April 2019.  Retrieved from https://nwcommons.nwciowa.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1016&context=celebrationofresearch on 11/30/2020.

Why Not to Panic About Coronavirus

So, by now the world has heard of COVID-19 (Coronavirus Disease 2019).  Here is a Johns Hopkins Whiting School of Engineering dashboard to keep up-to-date on the spread of this illness.  It lists total cases confirmed worldwide, total deaths, and total recovered.

So, feel free to click the link and go assure yourself that (at the time I'm writing this) the overwhelming majority of people who have contracted this illness are recovering from it!  That is why I'm suggesting not to panic.

Please take the precautions that the World Health Organization suggests here.  If you are immune-compromised in any way, or are otherwise at high risk for contracting COVID-19, contact your primary medical provider this week and follow their suggested plan to avoid getting sick, a plan specific for YOU.  Do not panic.  If you do happen to get sick, contact your primary medical provider and carefully follow their instructions for treatment.

Now that those public service announcement-type suggestions are out of the way, here are health statistics that are also incredibly important to acknowledge:

Every year, according to the United Nations, 50,000 women are killed by their intimate partners or family members.

Why isn't THIS issue causing widespread global panic?  50,000 preventable deaths annually.  That's about 4167 women dying per month from being murdered by an intimate partner or a family member.

Why is something soooo preventable such as domestic violence not being touted as a "pandemic?"

Hmm.

Yes, please use hand sanitizer, cough into your elbow, don't touch your face unless you just washed your hands, and wear a mask in order to prevent contracting and spreading COVID-19.

However, ending domestic violence will take so much more.  For starters, you can read up on boundaries, co-dependency, assertiveness, and communication; stay connected (or build connections) to healthy friends and other social supports; advocate for social justice everywhere (work, school, home, community, the legal and court system, your workplace, religious organizations); work to improve access to resources (especially financial, education, and health care) for all humans; learn to recognize the signs of domestic violence; take a strong stance against violence towards all humans (this includes standing up for abused children and for victims of bullying); help victims get out and get treatment as soon as possible; help perpetrators be held accountable and get treatment as soon as possible; advocate for women's rights, educate yourself and share the knowledge with others on how to spot a batterer early in a relationship, and then as a global family, we can end this global domestic violence pandemic together.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse from an intimate partner, roommate, family member, or someone else, please contact the USA based National Domestic Violence Hotline either on the internet here (if you don't fear the abuser discovering you visited that website) or call 1-800-799-7233.  It's free and confidential.  Be safe.  Be strong.  You are important!