What to Do with Handmade Gifts from Kids?

'Tis the season...for being the lucky recipient of handmade treasures from little ones!  Yes, those adorable crafty gifts that kids bestow upon their parents and other loved ones during the holiday season.

As parents, we want to encourage creativity, generosity, selflessness, and the relationship-building benefits of gift giving in our kids, right?  But what in the WORLD do we do with some of their creations?

Let me share a story I had long forgotten about until a few weeks ago in session, when my memory was triggered by something one of my little patients said.  Driving home that night, I reflected on my late Dad's parenting skills, "good enough" parenting, and what to do about the gifts our kids give us.

I remember a dark blue scarf that yours truly (that's me) knitted for my Dad for Christmas a long time ago in a galaxy far far away (that's Idaho).  Little Me used a special loom and invested many hours of work into making a true masterpiece:  a too-short and slightly lopsided scarf.  I carefully folded it, wrapped it brightly, and placed it under the Christmas tree.

On Christmas morning, I looked expectantly at Dad as he smiled and began unwrapping the gift.  As he pulled the wrapping paper back, his face lit up and he exclaimed with delight at the sight of the scarf.  RIGHT THERE AND THEN he wrapped that lopsided blue thing around his neck.

Dad wore that scarf all winter, and for many other winters following.  Good enough parenting?  Great parenting!  Although I had forgotten about this gift exchange over the years, I obviously learned and internalized much about gift giving and ultimately about parenting that Christmas.

Fast forward 20-ish years.  My daughter makes a pencil cup for me out of a recycled tin can.  I gratefully and happily received it, and put it to use immediately.  In fact, it's still in use in my kitchen today:  

This festive season, and at all the other times of the year, you don't have to be a perfect parent; you just have to be good enough.  Receive the gifts your children give you with thanks and delight.  That's good enough great parenting!

Happy Holidays!

Manilla Folders to Organize for ADHD

So, you have your main file categories set up.  In review, they are:

Auto/Vehicles
Employment
Financial
Home
Medical
Personal Documents
School

Now on to using manilla folders INSIDE of these hanging folders if your lifestyle and responsibilities require more careful organization.  Simply write on the tab of the manilla folders.  With ADHD, you don't need to try to mess with a label-maker.  Just write clearly in dark pen.

Auto/Vehicles:  Use one manilla folder for all documents pertaining to ONE car.  So, if you are a two car family, you will need two manilla folders in the Auto/Vehicles hanging folder.  For example, one folder might read "2018 Chevy" and the next folder "2014 Toyota."  Pretty simple.

Employment:  Make one folder for resumes and CV's.  Another folder for your current employment.  Another for all past employment (just lump all the misc. documents from all past employment in one manilla folder).  

If you are self-employed, make sub-folders for the current tax year, business expenses, business license(s), marketing, etc. per need.  This is really broad information here; you WILL want to discuss your small business with a CPA and or attorney to get targeted information on exactly what papers to retain and how to store them.

Financial:  One folder per bank you use for basic checking, savings, CD's.  One folder for each retirement account you have.  One folder for each loan you have (home mortgage, boat loan, car loan, personal loan, student loan).  Don't complicate your life.  You don't have to break it down much further than this.

Home:  Make one folder for your rent lease or home mortgage, one folder for general utilities, one for home maintenance and repair if needed.  Keep receipts for major appliance purchases and home renovations here too.

Medical:  Be super simple here.  One folder for your family's health insurance policy.  One folder per person.  Done.  

If you or a family member have higher medical needs (and thus more paperwork to keep!), you may want to start an entirely separate hanging folder just for that one person, and use manilla folders titled descriptively.  For example:  "Primary Care Provider," "Chiropractor," "Counseling," "Occupation Therapy," "Internal Medicine," etc.

Personal Documents:  Create one manilla folder for each person or pet you have.  Store vital documents (birth certificate, Social Security Card, DD-214, etc.) for each person in their own folder.  For marriage certificates, you can make a separate folder just for that or pick a partner's folder in which to store the original.  For each pet, make one folder each and store immunization/rabies tags in their folder.  If your only pets are goldfish, you can skip this step.

School:  One folder per student per school.  Save only semester report cards and any remarkable awards or special creations, not multiple choice math tests and random worksheets.  Once a student graduates, then recycle or shred as many of their old papers as you can, store the diploma in a frame on the wall, and condense all school years' golden papers into one file folder per person (or add those papers to a scrapbook).  Simple!

I hope this helps you understand how to use manilla sub-folders as you begin to keep your diverse papers organized.  

Remember, keep folders visible and edited (recycle often!) and you will be more likely to actually USE this filing system.  

Easy to Use Filing System for People with ADHD

In the previous post (go here if you haven't read it yet), I described an easy way to manage the backlog of papers in your home.*

Now I'll describe my super easy to use filing system for papers you identified as "file."

There are a few ways you can do this.

One method is to use an accordion file folder.  This is for young people just starting out, people who do not have a bunch of responsibilities, and those who have just a few key papers to file.  You simply label a tab within the accordion file folder with what it needs to contain, sort the papers into each labelled slot, and you're done.   It sounds so simple!

But future filing and retrieving using an accordion file is a four-step process:  pick up the file (most are kind of wobbly), open the thing by unfastening it, drop in the paper, then re-fasten it to keep it shut.

Doesn't work so well for folks with ADHD.

If you have ADHD, you need a ONE STEP motion (not a four step process) to file and retrieve papers. 

If you have ADHD, the best and easiest idea

1.  keeps your files visible,
2.  keeps the papers contained, and
3.  makes filing new papers a ONE STEP motion.

Enter the desktop file box or file organizer.  Here are a few examples of what to use. 

Blue desktop file organizer

Silver mesh file organizer

You will need letter size hanging folders to go with these.  Click here to see what I mean.  You will only need seven of them.

Then you will need manilla (not vanilla, but manilla) file folders.  Here are some examples.  You will need more than 7 but fewer than 50, depending upon your age, responsibilities (homeowner, parent, pet owner, vehicle owner, job, etc.), and other complicating factors.

Once you purchase the hanging file folders, gather seven of them and label each as follows:

Auto/Vehicles
Employment
Financial
Home
Medical
Personal Documents
School

Now hang them in your desktop file organizer, in that order.  Voila!  An alphabetically ordered file system.  Aren't we fancy?

Next, begin going through your "Act" box of papers, and rough sort each paper into a hanging file FOR NOW.

Anything car or vehicle (boat, trailer, ATV) related gets dropped into the "Auto/Vehicles" hanging folder.

Any paper pertaining to your job (resume, background check, trainings, letters of reference) you put in the "Employment" file.

Any bank statements, retirement account statements, loan papers, or other financial institution related papers goes in the "Financial" file.

Your lease or home loan papers, utility statements, and warranties for the flat screen and the Switch go in the "Home" file.

A receipt from the dentist, statement from the doctor's office, and info from the pharmacy for the medication you are currently taking gets dropped into the "Medical" file.

The "Personal Documents" folder will contain birth certificates, divorce or marriage certificates, passports, Social Security cards, etc.  (Some people think this is awful and will tell you to store these documents in a fire safe or in a bank's safety deposit box.  Use your best judgment on this one.  I'm trying to keep it simple.  All of these documents can be replaced if they get lost or destroyed.)

Anything related to education goes in the "School" file.  If you don't have kids and are done with school yourself, skip the "School" file.  Yee-haw!

Eventually, all your crucial "file" papers should fit into this tabletop system.

If they don't, your life is either uber complicated, you're overthinking this, or you are utterly overwhelmed.

If needed, get a bigger desktop file folder.  Something like this.

Ok, enough for today.  Next time I will explain a bit on how to use the manilla file folders to keep those fancy hanging folders from getting too messy.

Take a deep breath, and relax.  You CAN get a handle on your papers!

* This post contains links to external websites.  I am not compensated in any way for profiling these products, these companies, or for providing links.  Clicking on the links will take you to either Amazon or Staples so you can see the kind of products I'm talking about.  In case you're still reading this, and if you have ADHD (any type), I purposely put in clickable links to make this subject more interesting, and also to work WITH the challenge you may face with focusing on boring junk.  It makes this topic and post less boring. 

The Life Changing Magic of Managing Paperwork (with ADHD!)

Individuals living with ADHD have so many strengths.  But generally speaking, managing paperwork isn't one of them.  Mismanagement of household paper flow can cause you to experience increased stress:  paying missed session fees to doctors and other medical offices for missed appointments, incurring late fees for misplaced bills, missing events due to lost invitations, and experiencing anxiety due to feeling out of control when it comes to paperwork.

I'm here to help you get control of your papers, especially if you have ADHD.

Here's something to try for getting control of your backlog of papers (with apologies to Marie Kondo):

There are three things to do with any given piece of paper.  Ready?

1.  Act

2.  File

3.  Out

It's really this simple.

Depending upon your age, responsibilities, amount of paper you already have, and the volume of paper coming in, this simple process can take an hour or two, or a month or two of diligent, daily work.

To begin, gather two boxes or bins large enough to hold standard size office paper.  Label the boxes (with removable sticky notes or a thick marker) "Act" and "File."

You will also need a trash can and a cross cut paper shredder:  these are for the Out category.

Set a timer for 10 minutes, yes, just 10 minutes.  Pick up a small stack of random paper and beginning with the top paper DECIDE RIGHT THEN its home:  Act, File, Out (trash/recycle or shred).

When the timer rings, put the Act and File boxes away, put away any remaining papers you didn't have time to go through (as in, put them back on top of the stack from which you grabbed them in the first place), take out the trash/recycling, and put away the shredder.

Reward yourself in some small way after each 10 minute session:  a cup of your favorite flavored drink, a quick call to your best friend, your favorite low calorie snack, a short bike ride to watch the sunset, light a pretty candle, or give yourself a foot massage.  Rewarding yourself after an unfavorable job can help you get through it, and sets you up to perhaps look forward to the next paper management session.

This is the process of managing your backlog, over and over and over.

I will write soon on how to create an easy-to-use filing system, and on a daily/weekly paper flow routine to keep incoming paper from overwhelming you.

But this is a great start!

New Year's Resolutions: Are They Working?

It's no secret that new year's resolutions often peter out by the second week of January, which is where we are today.

Did you set any resolutions for yourself this year?  How's it going?

That bad, eh?

Can I offer an alternative?

Set goals.

Truly, resolutions are usually so lofty and overwhelming that they are paralyzing, leaving you feeling defeated and unmotivated year after year.  Seriously, how do you feel after resolving to "lose weight, declutter my entire house, save for retirement, and get out of debt this year!" and then NOT achieving any of those things?  Do you feel empowered, positive, successful, and accomplished?

Probably not.

By setting these resolutions, you're setting yourself up for failure.

Try setting goals and making those goals S.M.A.R.T.:  Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-specific.

To transform the above resolutions into SMART goals, they look like this instead:

"This year I will...

-  lose 10 pounds by Memorial Day,
-  clear the garage of 15 boxes by July 4th in time for the barbecue at my house,
-  declutter the guest room and turn it into a music room by Thanksgiving,
-  save $2000 for retirement by my December 15th paycheck, and
-  pay $50 extra per month to one credit card for 12 months."

Setting these kinds of goals (not resolutions) and reviewing them weekly will propel you forward towards actually reaching them.  And each week, take some small step towards achieving them.  If you fall off track one week, just begin anew the next week.  Before you know it, it will be December 31 again and you will be amazed at what you have accomplished in just one year.

So, what are you waiting for?!  Go set a SMART goal or two, and watch how much better you will feel about your future AND about yourself!

Blue skies!