Mindfulness for Stress Reduction

Mindfulness can be an excellent tool to help reduce your experience of stress and help you to live a better life.

Mindfulness is simply being aware of your present situation, emotions, environment, body, thoughts, etc.

Let me give you an example: 

You and your teen-ager are discussing their use of the car this Friday night to go to a school function.  You say that this privilege is contingent upon their completing three missing assignments in math class.  Your teen begins to whine, complain, and resist.  Your blood pressure rises, as does the volume of your voice.  Then your teen gets defensive.  Before you know it, both you and your teen are in a full blown argument.  How did that happen again?

Without self-awareness and other-awareness, situations like this will continue to play out until your little darlin' launches off to college, career, or the military.

How do you practice mindfulness?

Good news!  Mindfulness is a learnable skill.  Here is a quick way (of many ways) to begin using mindfulness:

Take a deep breath.

Seriously.

Five or six in a row.

And just observe how you're feeling, what you're seeing, if your jaw or shoulders are clinched, what sounds you're hearing.

And pause.

Practicing mindfulness when you are alone and not agitated is a great way to improve the skill, so that when you ARE in a situation like I described above, you will be able to calm your nervous system and be able to think and act in a calmer way.

Try it, not just for a few times, but for a few times per day for several weeks.  Your experience of day-to-day stress is likely to drop, if not a large amount, then at least a small (but not insignificant) amount.

I believe you'll be very surprised at the results.

Peace and calm to you,

Teresa

Teresa Heald, LCSW

How to Celebrate Safely

 So the holiday season approaches and brings up the big question:  how do we celebrate and stay safe from Covid?

Great question!

For the most up-to-the-minute health recommendations, follow this CDC link: 

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/prevent-getting-sick/prevention.html

Stay well!

Teresa

Teresa Heald, LCSW

Please Get Vaccinated for Your Neighbors' Sake!

Fellow Idahoans, as a mental health care professional, I am strongly urging you to go get vaccinated against Covid-19.  Governor Little had to activate the National Guard three days ago because we are down to FOUR (yes, just four) ICU hospital beds available in our entire state. *

These beds are being taken up mostly by unvaccinated people.

The situation in our great state is COMPLETELY unnecessary if all the unvaccinated Idahoans would simply go to their closest pharmacy and get the COMPLETELY FREE vaccine!  

If you won't do it for yourself, please go get vaccinated to protect your friends, neighbors, immune-compromised individuals, and all the children under age 12 who CAN'T get vaccinated yet.  

Covid is KILLING Idahoans.  Every. Single. Day.

And it's so unnecessary!

Idaho, we can do SO much better. 

If you're worried about it being "safe" to get vaccinated, well the FDA granted full approval of the Pfizer vaccine just over a week ago.**  Yay!!  This means it's proven to be as safe as your standard flu shot that most of us get each fall.  

We don't overthink getting a flu shot.  

So let's stop overthinking getting a Covid shot.  

I've been vaccinated since late winter.  I'm doing whatever I can to not be a petri dish of Covid for the people around me, including my 10 year-old grandson.

Please, just do it.

Please, friends.  Go get vaccinated!

With heartfelt love to you all, from a born-and-raised in Idaho gal,

Teresa

Tereas Heald, LCSW

* https://gov.idaho.gov/pressrelease/gov-little-activates-national-guard-again-directs-hundreds-of-new-medical-personnel-to-help-idaho-hospitals-overwhelmed-with-unvaccinated-covid-19-patients/

**https://www.fda.gov/news-events/press-announcements/fda-approves-first-covid-19-vaccine

What To Do When You're Tired Of Everything Covid

No doubt about it: we're all tired of Covid and all the restrictions, changes, and challenges that have occurred over the past 14-15 months.  Many of us have lost friends and family members due to the virus.  My heart goes out to each of you who have experienced this heartbreak.

So there is grief over losses.  Sometimes from those big losses, sometimes from smaller losses.  

Please feel the feelings.  Even when they hurt.  This process takes time, and you will eventually feel better as you allow yourself to grieve.

So, in addition to feeling those feelings...what else can you do this week to feel better?

Get vaccinated.  

The sooner we all get our vaccines, the sooner we can all resume life with some amount of normalcy, and the sooner this pandemic will end.

Listen friends, are you worried about the long-term impacts of the vaccines?  I was too.  But not after I spoke with my doctor.

Earlier this year when I saw my dermatologist, our discussion immediately jumped to Covid.  Through our masks, we talked about the benefits and risks of the new vaccines.  When I mentioned that I was concerned because we don't yet know the long-term impacts of these new vaccines, my doctor said, "But we DO know the long-term impact of Covid.  People are DYING from it!"

This site from Johns Hopkins University reports over 3 millions deaths worldwide as of the date of this post.

Please, if you meet the age requirements and your doctor approves, go get vaccinated.

If you're in the USA, the CDC has a handy vaccine site locator.  Follow the link below to find a Covid vaccine location near you: 

https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/covid-19/reporting/vaccinefinder/about.html

If you're in the USA, it's totally FREE to get vaccinated, regardless of your insurance coverage and even if you have no insurance at all.

Let's wipe this rotten virus off the face of the planet!

To your best health!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

The Best Way to Treat Depression

There are so many reasons that people may feel depressed, too many to count!  But please know that depression is a medical (mental health*) condition and as such, it generally requires medical treatment.

The best way to treat YOUR depression may not be the best way to treat your neighbor's or your child's or your friend's depression.

So, what is the BEST way to treat depression?

Seek and follow the treatment recommended by your licensed health care providers.  

A great place to start is with your primary care provider--such as a doctor, nurse practitioner, or physician's assistant--or a psychotherapist or counselor.  Any of these medical providers can assess you for depression and create a treatment program tailored just for you and your unique needs and situation.

You don't have to endure depression.  There is treatment available.  Take the first step today and contact a licensed medical provider for help.

You deserve to feel better!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

*Some medical conditions, such as thyroid disorder and Celiac disease, can cause depression as a symptom of those conditions.  Often once those underlying conditions are treated, depression lifts too.  Please talk to your primary care provider for more information; your provider may run some blood tests or other tests to rule out an underlying medical condition that may be the cause of your depression.

How to Motivate Yourself to Accomplish Difficult Things

Motivation and goal achievement are hard enough.  It can be extremely difficult when you are living with depression, anxiety, or other health conditions.  

Or also if you're faced with something overwhelming and frightening, like...living through a global pandemic. 

So, here are a few quick tips to help you overcome your late January motivational slump:

1.  Make a list of your top two or three tasks per day (or per hour, depending upon your level of busyness and responsibilities.).  Cross them off when you do them.  Yay! It feels good to accomplish stuff!

2.  Plan a reward for each task completed that is in line with your new habit goal.  Think of low- or no-cost rewards, and consider your five senses too.  For example, I recommend using scented body wash and shampoo as a reward (actually a tool) to help people meet their waking up by _______ a.m./p.m. goal (whatever your be-out-of-bed goal happens to be).  So, let's say your wake up goal is 6:30 a.m.  On the days you get out of bed and into the shower before or by 6:30, you reward yourself with using the scented products.  If you don't make your goal, you use regular or unscented products.  (If you have allergies or sensory aversions to commercial scents, try adding a skin-safe essential oil to unscented products or light a natural candle as a reward).  Other rewards can include listening to a favorite song, watching the sunrise, petting your dog or cat, calling a friend, eating your preferred breakfast, or (wait for it) wearing a new pair of socks.  I know!  New socks feel amazing!  (It doesn't take much to thrill us during this pandemic, does it?) The possibilities for small rewards are endless.  

3.  Cut yourself some slack.  We are in the midst of a global pandemic that has turned our world upside down.  So, if you broke your new year's resolution to start exercising daily, then please stop beating yourself up.  Be kind to yourself!  Maybe shorten the goal to something more achievable, such as exercise three times per week, and instead of an hour (gah!) each time you do exercise, maybe start with, hmm, five minutes?  Smaller goals are less intimidating than big, scary ones, are easier to complete, and give you the satisfaction of making progress--however small--towards your best life.

Be immensely kind to yourself.  Change is difficult.  

If you're finding yourself really struggling with day-to-day life, you may benefit from seeing a counselor.  Many (including me) offer sessions via privacy-safe on-line platforms or via phone.  Some insurance companies are covering the entire cost for mental health services provided via telehealth or phone!  Call your insurer to find out what mental health benefits your policy covers*.

Now, since you accomplished reading this post to the end, go reward yourself with some Eagles music, a funny cat video, or a pair of nice fluffy socks.

Happy 2021!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

* If you do not have health insurance, or are under-insured, and are living in the United States, there are ways to access free or very low cost health services, including mental health counseling.  Your place of worship may offer free counseling, universities and colleges near your home may have an internship program that offers free counseling by supervised graduate students, or you can contact the National Health Service Corps.  You can find a location close to you here:  https://findahealthcenter.hrsa.gov/ or call them directly, their contact information is here: https://nhsc.hrsa.gov/about-us 

Holiday Stress Busters

 Let's get right to it:  you're stressed!  This time of year is very difficult for many people, especially with this year's social distancing and business/school/activity/fun restrictions.  (Yes, I did in fact say "fun" restrictions....)

Here are a few quick ideas on how to bring back some happy into your holidays:

1.  Spend time with a pet.  Animals are so wonderful. Take your dog out for a walk, just bundle up well if it's cold.  Or play with your cat (if they'll let you) or other critter.  You'll both feel better for it.

2.  Reduce your expectations.  We're all living through a global pandemic, so cut yourself some slack!  If you don't want to follow your holiday decorating, baking, or gift giving rituals, then DON'T.  Or scale back.  Instead of a bedazzled Christmas tree drooping from the weight of four generations of ornaments, and hearths overcrowded with enough poinsettias to poison every cat in Connecticut, step back, and afford yourself the luxury of doing things the easy way this year.  Put up a wreath.  Set up one candle display (advent, menorah, kinara, or other).  Bake ONE kind of cookie.  Whatever your spiritual or cultural practices are for this time of year, reduce your expectations!  No one will DIE if you do, and the reduced stress will help everyone's health.

3.  Keep what's most meaningful to you.  If you can't bear to live through this season without a bedazzled Christmas tree, then reduce other areas of holiday stress so that you KEEP what is most meaningful to you.  For example, I love to give gifts.  Love. It.  So, I planned, created, bought, wrapped, tagged, and sent.  But is my tree--bedazzled or less so--on display?  No, not this year.  I am maintaining the traditions that matter most to me, and reducing my participation in other holiday traditions to keep my family's stress levels manageable. 

4.  Set firm boundaries if you need to.  If you have relatives who are controlling, dismissive, difficult, or quite frankly abusive, then family events where they are present, even the Zoom-ed ones, can compromise your mental health.  Did you catch that?  Family events with people who treat you poorly can compromise your mental health.  So, set some boundaries for your well-being.  How?  Here are a few ideas:  

• Don't attend.  
• Show up with a friend (most mean people treat you nicer if you have a friend along).
• Set a short time limit, and leave the call or the gathering early.
• If you feel obligated to attend, be prepared with conversation topics to steer them away from abusing you.  Asking lighthearted questions keeps the focus on THEM and not on abusing YOU.
• Provide your own transportation to/from the event, if the event is in-person.  If you get into a car/train/Uber with them, you'll be a captive audience and at the mercy of their control.  Don't do it.
• Practice saying "no."  This is not a joke.  Google "how to say no" and you'll find over 3 BILLION links.  

Assertiveness has its perks.  A calm, enjoyable holiday is one of them!

Happy holidays!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

Do Weighted Blankets Help Lower Anxiety?

In one word, yes.  Research demonstrates that weighted blankets do appear to reduce anxiety.*

Perhaps you have seen or heard about weighted blankets, and are curious if such a blanket might help calm your anxious feelings of free-falling through space since Covid-19 turned this world upside down.

Weighted blankets are basically two thin, separate blankets sewn together, filled with batting and heavy beads.  The weight of the blanket is surprisingly comforting, as long as you select the correct weight.  I recommend choosing a blanket that weighs approximately 10% of your body weight, or as close to 10% as you can get.  You don't want to get one that's too heavy for your body size as it could feel uncomfortably heavy and restricting.  And too light of a blanket might not help reduce anxious feelings.  It could still keep you warm though.

I recently tried using a plush weighted blanket.  While it was soft and warm, the weight was definitely a bit too heavy for me; it was three pounds too much.  It made it difficult for me to to relax while sitting on the sofa because the blanket was too heavy.   But when one of my grown sons tried it out, he loved it so much that he didn't take it off his shoulders the entire time we were visiting.  The weight was just perfect for him.  So it's important to find a blanket that is a good fit for you, in terms of weight.

Some weighted blankets are machine washable.  That's the kind I recommend, because seriously, who needs to make an extra trip to the dry cleaners during a global pandemic?

While you don't need to have anxiety or a prescription in order to purchase a weighted blanket, it's still a good idea to talk to your health care provider (therapist, counselor, doctor, nurse practitioner, etc.) and ask them if using a weighted blanket might enhance your well-being.  

Be warm and merry!

Teresa

Teresa Heald LCSW

* Becklund AL, Rapp-McCall L, Nudo J. Using weighted blankets in an inpatient mental health hospital to decrease anxiety. J Integr Med. 2020; Epub ahead of print.  Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S209549642030131X on 11/30/2020.

* Vinson J, Powers J, Mosesso K. Weighted Blankets: Anxiety Reduction in Adult Patients Receiving Chemotherapy. Clinical Journal of Oncology Nursing. 2020 Aug;24(4):360-368. DOI: 10.1188/20.cjon.360-368.

* Burch, E., Hartog, K.D., Godfredsen, M., Jansen, M., The Use of Weighted Blankets in Patients With Anxiety. Northwestern College Dept. of Nursing.  April 2019.  Retrieved from https://nwcommons.nwciowa.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1016&context=celebrationofresearch on 11/30/2020.

Why Not to Panic About Coronavirus

So, by now the world has heard of COVID-19 (Coronavirus Disease 2019).  Here is a Johns Hopkins Whiting School of Engineering dashboard to keep up-to-date on the spread of this illness.  It lists total cases confirmed worldwide, total deaths, and total recovered.

So, feel free to click the link and go assure yourself that (at the time I'm writing this) the overwhelming majority of people who have contracted this illness are recovering from it!  That is why I'm suggesting not to panic.

Please take the precautions that the World Health Organization suggests here.  If you are immune-compromised in any way, or are otherwise at high risk for contracting COVID-19, contact your primary medical provider this week and follow their suggested plan to avoid getting sick, a plan specific for YOU.  Do not panic.  If you do happen to get sick, contact your primary medical provider and carefully follow their instructions for treatment.

Now that those public service announcement-type suggestions are out of the way, here are health statistics that are also incredibly important to acknowledge:

Every year, according to the United Nations, 50,000 women are killed by their intimate partners or family members.

Why isn't THIS issue causing widespread global panic?  50,000 preventable deaths annually.  That's about 4167 women dying per month from being murdered by an intimate partner or a family member.

Why is something soooo preventable such as domestic violence not being touted as a "pandemic?"

Hmm.

Yes, please use hand sanitizer, cough into your elbow, don't touch your face unless you just washed your hands, and wear a mask in order to prevent contracting and spreading COVID-19.

However, ending domestic violence will take so much more.  For starters, you can read up on boundaries, co-dependency, assertiveness, and communication; stay connected (or build connections) to healthy friends and other social supports; advocate for social justice everywhere (work, school, home, community, the legal and court system, your workplace, religious organizations); work to improve access to resources (especially financial, education, and health care) for all humans; learn to recognize the signs of domestic violence; take a strong stance against violence towards all humans (this includes standing up for abused children and for victims of bullying); help victims get out and get treatment as soon as possible; help perpetrators be held accountable and get treatment as soon as possible; advocate for women's rights, educate yourself and share the knowledge with others on how to spot a batterer early in a relationship, and then as a global family, we can end this global domestic violence pandemic together.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse from an intimate partner, roommate, family member, or someone else, please contact the USA based National Domestic Violence Hotline either on the internet here (if you don't fear the abuser discovering you visited that website) or call 1-800-799-7233.  It's free and confidential.  Be safe.  Be strong.  You are important!

How To Stop Hating Your Body

I have one question for you today:  Do you love your body?

My guess is probably not.  Here's why.

Our self-concepts were forged by multiple factors, including how our parents/caregivers treated us in infancy and childhood, how they treated themselves, how our coaches and teachers treated us, what our peer groups told or modeled for us, and the big one:  what we see as the "perfect" body as spoon fed to us by the media over our lifetimes.

In order to overcome such onslaughts to our sense of self and instead learn how to treasure our remarkable bodies, you will need conscious and repeated effort.  If any of the above influences were shaming, dismissive, critical, competitive, or downright abusive, it will take enormous effort and possibly the assistance of a therapist to help you learn to love your precious body.

Dancers, models, cheerleaders, and individuals who compete in pageants are especially prone to body-hate.  Your sense of what is beautiful may be corrupted by the constant criticism you and your body endure as you are trained, sculpted, corrected, and masked into an image verses being supported and encouraged into becoming more of who you really are.  Additionally, individuals disfigured by surgery, accidents, crime/abuse, self-harm, congenital abnormalities or disease are prone to body comparison and body-hate.

Especially as we age, humans internalize these strong and pervasive messages that anything short of smooth unwrinkled skin, white straight teeth, a flawless tan and perky body parts is unacceptable.

Where I live, it is bikini season.  We are flooded with media spouting the religion of how to achieve a bikini-ready body.  Why so much attention on how to "fix" your body so it fits into a certain image?  "Fixing" body-hate is big business.  Body-hate sells!

Well here's the news:  your body is always bikini ready.

It's our minds that have been brainwashed into thinking that there is only ONE definition of beauty.  Once you change your mindset from body-hate to body-love from all the unhealthy influences, you can wear a bikini without needing to "fix" your body.

So, how do you stop hating your body?

It's a process.  You will likely move from body-hate to body-tolerance to body-acceptance to body-love.

I would start first with treating your self as the precious Being that you are and to CARE for your body as you would a precious treasure.  I'm all about being practical with self care, so if you're thirsty right now, go drink some water.  And once you sit back down, pick up your phone and schedule an annual exam ASAP with your primary health provider for preventative care.

The reality is you care for what you treasure.

So begin caring more about treasuring your body than you have in the past, because you are important.  You are priceless.  You--and your precious body--are wonderful.

More to come in future posts on body-love.

Be well, Beautiful!

Self Care for Parents of Struggling Kids

Has your child been diagnosed with a mental disorder such as anxiety, depression, ADHD, or PTSD?  If so, you as parent need to up your game in the realm of your own self care.

"Why increase the time and attention I give myself when it's my KID that's struggling?" you may ask.

Good question!

The answer is simple:  if the caregiver goes down, the whole family suffers.

Self care is not an option for any parent, especially a parent of a child with special needs.  Self care goes beyond lattes and pedicures, and is a lifestyle of nurturing yourself for optimal well-being.

Just being aware of your own needs and setting aside a bit of time daily to meet some of those needs will go a long long way towards keeping you emotionally and physically capable of navigating the difficult waters of raising a special needs child.

Carve out some time for you--DAILY--and you and your child will reap the benefits of a calmer, more engaged, and (dare I say) happier parent.

Be well!

Valentine's Day Stress and What to Do About It

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day!  I have noticed there are three camps of people when it comes to this holiday (see which one fits you this year):

1.  You love to celebrate with candy, cards, flowers, gifts, heart-shaped decorations, glitter, love songs, sparkling cider, stuffed bears holding a heart shaped box of chocolates, or any combination of these things.
2.  You see it as just another consumer-driven holiday, no big deal, and simply get on with your day.
3.  You feel...bad in some way.  Anxious, stressed, sad.

If you find yourself in the first camp, go to it!  Have a blast, sprinkle glittery heart warm fuzzies all around you.  Just stick to a reasonable budget and save a piece of chocolate for me!

If you are in camp two, hey, enjoy the chocolate that may come your way from the gooey, glitter-sprinkling, candy-wielding co-workers and loved ones you may encounter (and be thankful for them, those loving souls!).  If, however, you are one half of a romantic relationship, you might want to at least go get a card and a box of chocolates, or a bouquet of flowers for your honey.  It could improve your relationship.  Just sayin'.  (I am, in fact, a couples counselor too.)

If you are in camp three, keep reading.  This post is for you.

Valentine's Day can be a difficult day for some people, at certain times in their lives.  It is a holiday high-lighting love and lovers, and if you feel some lack or absence in either love or having a romantic partner, Valentine's Day can inspire stress-filled thoughts and negative emotions within you.

Let's first acknowledge that you DON'T have to participate in this holiday if you don't want to.

Let's also acknowledge any loss or void you have in your life if you are not feeling loved right now, or if you have a hurtful, hard, emotionally charged past in terms of someone you love or loved, or who should have loved you (ie a parent or spouse).  A divorce, separation, awful break-up, abusive childhood, intimate partner violence, serious interpersonal strife within your home or your family or work, or widowhood can all trigger negative emotions especially at this time of year when love is celebrated.

Take some time this year to write out the story of the pain.  Get it all out, cry if you can, go share it with your counselor or pastor/priest, but process those negative emotions by acknowledging them, writing them down, talking them out, and releasing them.  This self-care is an act of love:  Love for yourself!

Next, write down a list of all the wonderful, amazing things you can think of about yourself, and read them aloud to yourself in front of a mirror.  If you can't think of many, then recall in your life when someone (teacher, friend, stranger, coach, sibling, or anyone else) said anything nice to you or about you.  Write these things down.  They are treasures to recall in difficult times, to remind you of your sparkling, imperfectly perfect self.  Yes, YOU are a priceless treasure just by being you!  There is NO ONE else on this planet exactly like you.  You are an original work of art.  Priceless.

Write a list of things for which you are grateful.  They can be small things (favorite breakfast cereal in your pantry) or bigger things (eyesight, a safe delivery of your new baby, a job that pays the bills). Gratitude, especially when practiced daily, can be so healing.

Finally, do something you adore that demonstrates your own self-love, to show yourself that YOU are important.  Take yourself to the movies!  Go for a swim or a drive!  Bake yourself a decadent dessert!  Dress up in your finest clothes and take yourself out to dinner (or lunch, if you don't want to eat alone at a restaurant on Valentines' Day).  Celebrate YOU with candy, cards, flowers, gifts, heart-shaped decorations, glitter, love songs, sparkling cider, stuffed bears holding a heart shaped box of chocolates, or any combination of these things.  Yes, step into camp one, for YOURSELF!

Celebrate YOU on Valentine's Day!

7 Tips for Caring for a Difficult Child

Some children are easy to parent:  they comply with your directions, pick up after themselves, get up for school on time without much trouble, work hard in their classrooms, do their homework and chores, get long with their siblings, and never get sent to the principal's office.

Other children are more difficult to parent:  they cry when they don't get their way, tantrum at just the wrong time and place (on the floor in a check out lane at Target), lose their homework, not only ignore but defy your directions, maybe smoke, maybe drink, maybe worse, argue with everyone including the dog, and spend more time in the principal's office than in class.  So how do you manage these kids?

Wow, I wish I had easy answers that work for every parent for every child in every situation, but I don't.  I do, however, have some helpful guidelines in your struggle to care for these tough kids.

1. Take care of yourself first!  That means making sure you have time scheduled for activities that bring your joy and fulfillment:  joining a softball league, taking time to go golfing with friends, a monthly massage or facial (or both!), daily solitude (an absolute must for me), or an afternoon alone with a good book while your child's aunt or grandparents take her to the park or the zoo.  I often remind parents:  If mama goes down, the whole family goes down.

2.  Increase your time spent in positive interactions with your child.  These tough kids are used to being scolded, sent to their rooms, lectured, and having their toys, cell phones, or computer privileges taken away.  Why not try to increase the "good times" you spend with your child?  You will be improving your parenting as well as building your relationship with your child.  And perhaps your child's behaviors may just improve!

3.  Check your child's schedule, and reduce or remove overwhelming activities.  Kids in the American culture today often have too much on their schedules.  Reducing time spent away from home may help your child cope more successfully with school and other necessary activities, such as medical or therapy appointments. 

4.  Get help for your child.  That means seeking out all the educational and community resources available, such as special education services, Medicaid, therapy, respite care, and community based one-on-one services.  Call your county's Children's Mental Health Services at the Department of Health and Welfare for assistance. 

5.  Look to improve your family's sleep habits.  Lack of sleep makes everything more difficult, and impairs your ability to function at your best.  This holds true for your child.  So, set a bedtime and do your best to stick to it.  No sensational (i.e. violent) news stories or action movies prior to bedtime, for you or your kids.  Also make sure that all fun electronics (cell phone, TV, gaming systems, computer, etc.) are removed from your child's room at bedtime, with the exception of something to play relaxing music.  Music CD's can be borrowed for free from your public library, and  if you have internet connection, use youtube.com and seek out relaxing music on any device that has internet capabilities.  Finally, if you or your child are still having trouble sleeping, talk to your family doctor or nurse practitioner about using melatonin or another safe sleep aid.  Melatonin was a life-saver for my little insomniacs!  But do clear it with your family doctor first.

6.  Get help for YOU!  That means your own therapy to help you cope thrive!  YOUR MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING ARE EVERY BIT AS IMPORTANT AS YOUR CHILD'S.  Re-read that last sentence if the caps failed to gain your attention in your sleep-deprived state.

7.  This too shall pass.  "Sure it will!" you snort at me.  Well, it WILL pass.  I have lived through some dark times as a parent of a severely disabled child, and I am here to encourage you to not give up, but to press on through the most trying times and to look towards a better future:  yours as well as your child's.  There will come a time when you will have to manage fewer if any behavioral problems, you will have more sleep, and you will not have to answer phone calls from the principal.  I haven't had a phone call from a school principal in years.  You'll get there too!

Be well!