How to Make A Scrapbook for Your Difficult Child Part 2

So, after reading this post, you know the benefits of creating a scrapbook for your hard-to-parent child.  Today's post will help you understand how scrapbooking your child's life can benefit YOU.

"What?  How can putting together a scrapbook help me?"

Please read this story from a now-believing parent, who graciously gave me permission to share it with you here:

"OK.  I did it.  I took your advice and bit the bullet and got M. (teen-ager) a scrapbook, some jazzy papers, and a package of flower stickers.  I felt so stupid at the check out, like this was a big waste of money and time.  But I did it anyway.  I'm glad you pushed me to do this Sweet 16 album like I always wanted to.  But after all the anger and arguments we've had since she turned 13, I had no desire to do anything extra for her.  She doesn't appreciate anything I did for her since then, why would this be any different?

I took the book home, and fired up my computer where I store all her photos.  I looked through tons until my eyes crossed, but got about 100 pics to print.  Ordered them.  Picked them up the next day.

Then I started sticking them to the jazzy papers, and as I was getting all scrappy, something happened:  I started reliving those good times.  All the sleep-overs with her best friends, each school picture since kindergarten, birthdays, Christmases, hair cuts, vacations, family photos, family pets,  piano recitals, soccer games, school carnivals, and Halloween costumes.

She had a great childhood.  A really fun and happy childhood with parties and friends and pets and activities and a mom who loved and still loves her.  Who took photos too!

I wasn't an awful mom.

I'n NOT an awful mom.

She has ADHD.  And it was and is really hard for both of us.  But we made it through her childhood.

I started writing really short blurbs about the pictures on small index cards cut in half like you said.  Not much, just names, dates, places--enough to tell the story part way.  Stuck them on the pages alongside the pics, and added a few flower stickers where I thought it looked nice.

I cried.  For her, for me, for some of her poor teachers.

I laughed at the tiger costume, the missing front tooth,  and her first and only camping trip.

You were right.  I "processed" a crap ton right there at the kitchen table.  Grief especially.  You were right.

When I stuck the last sticker on the last page and closed the book, a huge tidal wave of feelings plowed over me:  I cried again for her and for me, for the hard hard work I did raising her, and for her struggles at school and with some friends.  I cheered for us both for surviving the most crappy times, and I cheered for having completed a Sweet 16 album for her like I always wanted to.

Her response was the most unexpected.

When she opened the package the night of her party, she just started going through the scrapbook page by page, with everybody crowded around looking.  She told every story, and her sister, Grandpa, and her best friend added their own comments when they were part of the story too.  We laughed and laughed.  I told parts of stories too.  It took almost an entire hour!

When she got to the last page, she jumped up and gave me the biggest hug I've had from her since she was shorter than me.  Everybody cheered.  She told me it was the best thing ever and she actually told me she loved me!  It was like reality tv or something, but it's what happened.

It's only been a week since her party, but I've never felt so close to her.  It was the best gift I could have gotten her.  And the best gift for me too. "


Yes, there are so many ways a scrapbook may benefit you.  Not every parent's experience will be the same, and you may not receive such a welcoming response from your child, but this story illustrates several of the benefits you may receive when creating and giving a scrapbook.

Convinced?  Great!

Part 3 will take you through the easy-peasy steps to creating a fun and FAST scrapbook.

How to Make a Scrapbook for Your Difficult Child Part 1

Do you have a child, foster child, or grandchild that is difficult to parent?

Welcome to the club of Extreme Parents(!) where superheroes are REAL (that would be you, and members of your child's treatment team), capes totally optional (or not), and time moves both slow ("Isn't it her bedtime yet?!") and fast ("Where did my alone time go?!").

But before you know it, your Lil Firecracker will be grown, and their childhood a blurry, faded memory.

There are some things you will be glad to leave in the blurry, faded past, such as temper tantrums, IEP meetings, and coordinating and chauffeuring Lil Firecracker to multiple medical/therapy appointments each week.

But I don't want you to leave behind the GOOD memories.  Yes, there are many good memories, and I'm here to help you remember and preserve them.

Friends, I'm talking about scrapbooking.

Please don't gag.  Or roll your eyes.

The scrapbook craze that dominated the early part of this century fizzled out to a glowing ember, but a well-put-together scrapbook has so many benefits--therapeutic benefits--for not only Lil Firecracker, but for YOU as well.

Here are a few ways in which a scrapbook may benefit your child:

1.  Improved relationship between you and your child.  WOW!  Yes, it CAN happen!
2.  Greater sense of continuity and belonging.
3.  Increased sense of self, which assists with self-esteem issues (children learn to esteem themselves by mirroring the opinions that primary caregivers have of them).
4.  Feelings of family pride, even in foster families.
5.  Can help to heal past hurts within their family story.
6.  When a child or teen helps create, maintain (keeps adding to the book),  and then looks through the scrapbook over and over with you, it can provide you and your child with more quiet, crafty activities and bonding experiences.
7.  Preserving and reliving memories can make NEW memories too.  Whatadeal!

With all these benefits, I'm sure you're ready to get started right now!

OK, we'll wait until you've had your coffee.

Part 2 will explain how putting together your child's scrapbook can help YOU.

Part 3 will explain how to actually create a scrapbook.   FAST.

Don't worry!  You don't have to be artsy or crafty to do this.  You don't have to sacrifice all your free time either.  I'll walk you through each step.   You won't regret the time and effort you invest in this very important and worthwhile project.