Individuals living with ADHD have so many strengths. But generally speaking, managing paperwork isn't one of them. Mismanagement of household paper flow can cause you to experience increased stress: paying missed session fees to doctors and other medical offices for missed appointments, incurring late fees for misplaced bills, missing events due to lost invitations, and experiencing anxiety due to feeling out of control when it comes to paperwork.
I'm here to help you get control of your papers, especially if you have ADHD.
Here's something to try for getting control of your backlog of papers (with apologies to Marie Kondo):
There are three things to do with any given piece of paper. Ready?
1. Act
2. File
3. Out
It's really this simple.
Depending upon your age, responsibilities, amount of paper you already have, and the volume of paper coming in, this simple process can take an hour or two, or a month or two of diligent, daily work.
To begin, gather two boxes or bins large enough to hold standard size office paper. Label the boxes (with removable sticky notes or a thick marker) "Act" and "File."
You will also need a trash can and a cross cut paper shredder: these are for the Out category.
Set a timer for 10 minutes, yes, just 10 minutes. Pick up a small stack of random paper and beginning with the top paper DECIDE RIGHT THEN its home: Act, File, Out (trash/recycle or shred).
When the timer rings, put the Act and File boxes away, put away any remaining papers you didn't have time to go through (as in, put them back on top of the stack from which you grabbed them in the first place), take out the trash/recycling, and put away the shredder.
Reward yourself in some small way after each 10 minute session: a cup of your favorite flavored drink, a quick call to your best friend, your favorite low calorie snack, a short bike ride to watch the sunset, light a pretty candle, or give yourself a foot massage. Rewarding yourself after an unfavorable job can help you get through it, and sets you up to perhaps look forward to the next paper management session.
This is the process of managing your backlog, over and over and over.
I will write soon on how to create an easy-to-use filing system, and on a daily/weekly paper flow routine to keep incoming paper from overwhelming you.
But this is a great start!
Showing posts with label home management. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home management. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
Monday, February 6, 2017
Secrets to Thriving with ADHD
Do you or someone close to you struggle in day-to-day life with ADHD?
Good news! One of my specialties is helping adults, teens, and kids to THRIVE--not just survive--with ADHD. I have two grown sons who were diagnosed with ADHD in elementary school, long before I was a therapist. I learned many tips from their mental health care providers, doctors, teachers, and therapists. I also learned and continue to learn and create effective techniques as a therapist, to help YOU and the people you love to live great lives with ADHD.
Here are a few secrets to thriving with ADHD. These secrets took me YEARS to learn! I would be so happy if you shared these with as many families impacted by ADHD as you can so that they can thrive too!
1. Reduce your household inventory. A big challenge for many people living with ADHD is the disorganization and clutter in their homes and lives. The best way to address this is to drastically reduce the amount of stuff in their homes and lives. This means a huge and massive decluttering.
2. Plan ahead. Oh how long it took me to learn this secret to help my kids and clients and how effect it can be! The act of planning reduces impulsive actions, and many of the relationship and work problems that impact people with ADHD are caused by their impulsivity. Planning greatly reduces this!
3. Work on getting enough sleep. Sleep is so vital for healthy functioning and good relationships. Check out this post for some tips on getting a good night's sleep.
4. Exercise daily. Exercise improves mood, releases endorphins, and helps reduce stress (and living with ADHD can be stressful!). Find exercise that you enjoy and indulge in this form of self-care daily. ALWAYS CHECK WITH YOUR PRIMARY DOCTOR FIRST BEFORE BEGINNING ANY EXERCISE PROGRAM.
5. Get out into nature as often as possible. Nature has so many benefits, including helping to calm an overactive mind. When I say "nature," I mean quiet, uncrowded green space (or snowy space, or beach and water space). Indulge as often as you can and reap the benefits that nature freely offers us.
6. Focus on and build your strengths. So may people immediately focus on the negative aspects of ADHD: the distractability, the forgetfulness, the interrupting behaviors, and trouble with memory and impulse control. When my oldest son entered basic training in the US Army, I was discussing my concerns over his ADHD and how he would fare as a front-line infantryman, and my colleague, a well-respected marriage and family therapist, energetically exclaimed that being an infantryman in the Army was a perfect job for my ADHD son: he has the capacity to multi-task in life and death situations. I am relieved to tell you that my son successfully completed deployment to a war zone, faced and survived battle, and earned several medals as a result of his exemplary service to our country. ADHD can be a strength indeed!
7. Talk therapy (also called counseling or psychotherapy). While ADHD has benefits, it also has drawbacks. ADHD is a lifelong condition that has the capacity to negatively impact many areas of a person's life. Having an understanding and knowledgeable mental health professional with whom to talk can greatly improve relationships, functioning at school and work, and help a person to learn even more ways to thrive with ADHD. If you live in Idaho and feel that counseling can help you learn to live with ADHD (or learn to live with SOMEONE ELSE who has ADHD!), please email me (teresahealdconsulting"at"gmail.com) to inquire about scheduling a counseling session and begin to discover even more ways to thrive with ADHD!
Good news! One of my specialties is helping adults, teens, and kids to THRIVE--not just survive--with ADHD. I have two grown sons who were diagnosed with ADHD in elementary school, long before I was a therapist. I learned many tips from their mental health care providers, doctors, teachers, and therapists. I also learned and continue to learn and create effective techniques as a therapist, to help YOU and the people you love to live great lives with ADHD.
Here are a few secrets to thriving with ADHD. These secrets took me YEARS to learn! I would be so happy if you shared these with as many families impacted by ADHD as you can so that they can thrive too!
1. Reduce your household inventory. A big challenge for many people living with ADHD is the disorganization and clutter in their homes and lives. The best way to address this is to drastically reduce the amount of stuff in their homes and lives. This means a huge and massive decluttering.
2. Plan ahead. Oh how long it took me to learn this secret to help my kids and clients and how effect it can be! The act of planning reduces impulsive actions, and many of the relationship and work problems that impact people with ADHD are caused by their impulsivity. Planning greatly reduces this!
3. Work on getting enough sleep. Sleep is so vital for healthy functioning and good relationships. Check out this post for some tips on getting a good night's sleep.
4. Exercise daily. Exercise improves mood, releases endorphins, and helps reduce stress (and living with ADHD can be stressful!). Find exercise that you enjoy and indulge in this form of self-care daily. ALWAYS CHECK WITH YOUR PRIMARY DOCTOR FIRST BEFORE BEGINNING ANY EXERCISE PROGRAM.
5. Get out into nature as often as possible. Nature has so many benefits, including helping to calm an overactive mind. When I say "nature," I mean quiet, uncrowded green space (or snowy space, or beach and water space). Indulge as often as you can and reap the benefits that nature freely offers us.
6. Focus on and build your strengths. So may people immediately focus on the negative aspects of ADHD: the distractability, the forgetfulness, the interrupting behaviors, and trouble with memory and impulse control. When my oldest son entered basic training in the US Army, I was discussing my concerns over his ADHD and how he would fare as a front-line infantryman, and my colleague, a well-respected marriage and family therapist, energetically exclaimed that being an infantryman in the Army was a perfect job for my ADHD son: he has the capacity to multi-task in life and death situations. I am relieved to tell you that my son successfully completed deployment to a war zone, faced and survived battle, and earned several medals as a result of his exemplary service to our country. ADHD can be a strength indeed!
7. Talk therapy (also called counseling or psychotherapy). While ADHD has benefits, it also has drawbacks. ADHD is a lifelong condition that has the capacity to negatively impact many areas of a person's life. Having an understanding and knowledgeable mental health professional with whom to talk can greatly improve relationships, functioning at school and work, and help a person to learn even more ways to thrive with ADHD. If you live in Idaho and feel that counseling can help you learn to live with ADHD (or learn to live with SOMEONE ELSE who has ADHD!), please email me (teresahealdconsulting"at"gmail.com) to inquire about scheduling a counseling session and begin to discover even more ways to thrive with ADHD!
Friday, February 3, 2017
8 Keys to Stress Management
Are you tense? Fatigued? Feel as if your brain is foggy? These can all be signs of too much stress! If daily life is wearing you down, try a few of these tips and start to feel better today.
1. Make a list of your current top five stressors. Perhaps it's your son's recent fender bender, your aging cat's health problems, a leaky roof, an important work or school deadline, an overdue bill, or the surprising number on your bathroom scale. List the top five things that cause you stress when you think about them. Simply identifying your stressors helps to increase your sense of control over these situations.
2. Identify and write down one small step you can take to reducing the impact that each issue is having on your life. For example, call your insurance about your son's minor car accident, schedule time to take your cat to the vet, call one roofing company for a quote, schedule just 10 minutes to work towards your deadline, or call your neighbor and plan to take her up on walking around the neighborhood every Saturday morning for exercise and friendship.
3. Take one action right now. Yes, right now! Make a call, schedule an appointment, write in your planner or set an email or phone reminder to spend just 10 minutes working towards addressing one of your stressors. A phone call or email can take just a minute or two, if you let go of perfectionism and set a time limit for yourself. Here's an example of a one minute phone call: "Hello Maria? Hi! Hey, I just have a minute, but I was calling to see if you still walk on Saturday mornings and if you would like some company. Oh that's great! I'd love to meet you at 9 o'clock. I gotta run now, but I look forward to seeing you on Saturday. Ok, bye!" That wasn't so hard, was it?
4. Use a timer. Having too much to do at home increases your feelings of being stressed. Here is an idea to make your daily life less stressful: Set a timer for a short duration (like 20 minutes) and perform urgent but mundane chores such as loading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, and cleaning the toilets. Try to beat the timer. Stop when the timer goes off. The results? A less dirty house, a less stressful you. Do this every day or so and the cumulative results will surprise you (and leave you less stressed)!
5. Reduce your expectations for things that are less important. Such as...? The dust on the tv screen. A perfectly mopped kitchen floor. Homemade ranch dressing (sheesh honey, buy it pre-made in the bottle already). You don't have to be Suzy Homemaker. You need to have healthy, safe, and clean conditions where they matter (dishes, food prep and food freshness, no rotting trash inside the house). But consider lowering your standards in areas that are stressing you out but that do not impact health and well-being. Maybe you don't have to crochet an afghan for your neighbor's baby shower; a pre-made blanket will suffice and save you lots of time and stress. Maybe you don't have to chop fresh vegetables every week for your kids' snacks. Maybe buying a pre-made veggie tray at the grocery store every week will not only save you time but worry that you are not feeding your family healthy food.
6. Brain dump daily. The term "brain dump" has always sounded silly to me, so I never wanted to do it. Within this past year, however, stress levels in my life reached a critical level, so I determined to do everything in my power to regain my sense of effectiveness and reduce my stress. I decided to try the silly brain dump thing. I sat down with a pen and paper and got everything that was nagging at the back of my mind written down in one fell swoop (or brain dump). Big things, tiny things, insignificant things. I wrote them all on paper. Then, I went down the list and on another piece of paper I re-wrote each item, placing it into a specific category. For example, a few of my categories were Work, Family/Friends, Self Care, Home, Finances, Food/Meals. The next morning, I started on my list, picking out tasks I decided were priorities from each category. As I completed a task, I crossed it off. At the end of that night, I re-wrote my categories, leaving out the things I crossed off as done, and added any new tasks that had come up that day. I repeated this process daily. Guess what? Within one week my productivity skyrocketed and my daily experience of stress dropped. I continue using this brain dump productivity method to this day. I get more done now than I ever have, yet I'm not stressed like I used to be just a few months ago! And here's the kicker: tomorrow is Saturday, traditionally the day of endless household chores and mundane but necessary errands for every adult in this country. But you know what my brain dump list for tomorrow looks like? Do you know how many items it has on it? Two. Seriously. Just two. Try this brain dump nonsense. TRY IT. You won't regret it one bit.
You can do this too. You can reduce your stress and become more effective at being the best YOU you can be! Pick something from this list and try it today!
1. Make a list of your current top five stressors. Perhaps it's your son's recent fender bender, your aging cat's health problems, a leaky roof, an important work or school deadline, an overdue bill, or the surprising number on your bathroom scale. List the top five things that cause you stress when you think about them. Simply identifying your stressors helps to increase your sense of control over these situations.
2. Identify and write down one small step you can take to reducing the impact that each issue is having on your life. For example, call your insurance about your son's minor car accident, schedule time to take your cat to the vet, call one roofing company for a quote, schedule just 10 minutes to work towards your deadline, or call your neighbor and plan to take her up on walking around the neighborhood every Saturday morning for exercise and friendship.
3. Take one action right now. Yes, right now! Make a call, schedule an appointment, write in your planner or set an email or phone reminder to spend just 10 minutes working towards addressing one of your stressors. A phone call or email can take just a minute or two, if you let go of perfectionism and set a time limit for yourself. Here's an example of a one minute phone call: "Hello Maria? Hi! Hey, I just have a minute, but I was calling to see if you still walk on Saturday mornings and if you would like some company. Oh that's great! I'd love to meet you at 9 o'clock. I gotta run now, but I look forward to seeing you on Saturday. Ok, bye!" That wasn't so hard, was it?
4. Use a timer. Having too much to do at home increases your feelings of being stressed. Here is an idea to make your daily life less stressful: Set a timer for a short duration (like 20 minutes) and perform urgent but mundane chores such as loading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, and cleaning the toilets. Try to beat the timer. Stop when the timer goes off. The results? A less dirty house, a less stressful you. Do this every day or so and the cumulative results will surprise you (and leave you less stressed)!
5. Reduce your expectations for things that are less important. Such as...? The dust on the tv screen. A perfectly mopped kitchen floor. Homemade ranch dressing (sheesh honey, buy it pre-made in the bottle already). You don't have to be Suzy Homemaker. You need to have healthy, safe, and clean conditions where they matter (dishes, food prep and food freshness, no rotting trash inside the house). But consider lowering your standards in areas that are stressing you out but that do not impact health and well-being. Maybe you don't have to crochet an afghan for your neighbor's baby shower; a pre-made blanket will suffice and save you lots of time and stress. Maybe you don't have to chop fresh vegetables every week for your kids' snacks. Maybe buying a pre-made veggie tray at the grocery store every week will not only save you time but worry that you are not feeding your family healthy food.
6. Brain dump daily. The term "brain dump" has always sounded silly to me, so I never wanted to do it. Within this past year, however, stress levels in my life reached a critical level, so I determined to do everything in my power to regain my sense of effectiveness and reduce my stress. I decided to try the silly brain dump thing. I sat down with a pen and paper and got everything that was nagging at the back of my mind written down in one fell swoop (or brain dump). Big things, tiny things, insignificant things. I wrote them all on paper. Then, I went down the list and on another piece of paper I re-wrote each item, placing it into a specific category. For example, a few of my categories were Work, Family/Friends, Self Care, Home, Finances, Food/Meals. The next morning, I started on my list, picking out tasks I decided were priorities from each category. As I completed a task, I crossed it off. At the end of that night, I re-wrote my categories, leaving out the things I crossed off as done, and added any new tasks that had come up that day. I repeated this process daily. Guess what? Within one week my productivity skyrocketed and my daily experience of stress dropped. I continue using this brain dump productivity method to this day. I get more done now than I ever have, yet I'm not stressed like I used to be just a few months ago! And here's the kicker: tomorrow is Saturday, traditionally the day of endless household chores and mundane but necessary errands for every adult in this country. But you know what my brain dump list for tomorrow looks like? Do you know how many items it has on it? Two. Seriously. Just two. Try this brain dump nonsense. TRY IT. You won't regret it one bit.
You can do this too. You can reduce your stress and become more effective at being the best YOU you can be! Pick something from this list and try it today!
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