Want a quick tip to help you feel less anxious?
Organize something.
Organizing is you exerting control over some group of objects, like your kitchen spices, a shelf full of books, or your sock drawer.
When you put something small or minor in order, you experience a greater sense of control, and that feeling of control lowers your anxiety.
Try it for yourself and see if organizing something makes you feel a little less anxious.
Be well!
Teresa
Motivation and goal achievement are hard enough. It can be extremely difficult when you are living with depression, anxiety, or other health conditions.
Or also if you're faced with something overwhelming and frightening, like...living through a global pandemic.
So, here are a few quick tips to help you overcome your late January motivational slump:
1. Make a list of your top two or three tasks per day (or per hour, depending upon your level of busyness and responsibilities.). Cross them off when you do them. Yay! It feels good to accomplish stuff!
2. Plan a reward for each task completed that is in line with your new habit goal. Think of low- or no-cost rewards, and consider your five senses too. For example, I recommend using scented body wash and shampoo as a reward (actually a tool) to help people meet their waking up by _______ a.m./p.m. goal (whatever your be-out-of-bed goal happens to be). So, let's say your wake up goal is 6:30 a.m. On the days you get out of bed and into the shower before or by 6:30, you reward yourself with using the scented products. If you don't make your goal, you use regular or unscented products. (If you have allergies or sensory aversions to commercial scents, try adding a skin-safe essential oil to unscented products or light a natural candle as a reward). Other rewards can include listening to a favorite song, watching the sunrise, petting your dog or cat, calling a friend, eating your preferred breakfast, or (wait for it) wearing a new pair of socks. I know! New socks feel amazing! (It doesn't take much to thrill us during this pandemic, does it?) The possibilities for small rewards are endless.
3. Cut yourself some slack. We are in the midst of a global pandemic that has turned our world upside down. So, if you broke your new year's resolution to start exercising daily, then please stop beating yourself up. Be kind to yourself! Maybe shorten the goal to something more achievable, such as exercise three times per week, and instead of an hour (gah!) each time you do exercise, maybe start with, hmm, five minutes? Smaller goals are less intimidating than big, scary ones, are easier to complete, and give you the satisfaction of making progress--however small--towards your best life.
Be immensely kind to yourself. Change is difficult.
If you're finding yourself really struggling with day-to-day life, you may benefit from seeing a counselor. Many (including me) offer sessions via privacy-safe on-line platforms or via phone. Some insurance companies are covering the entire cost for mental health services provided via telehealth or phone! Call your insurer to find out what mental health benefits your policy covers*.
Now, since you accomplished reading this post to the end, go reward yourself with some Eagles music, a funny cat video, or a pair of nice fluffy socks.
Happy 2021!
Teresa
You're probably ready to begin changing some things about your life, to start the new year on a positive note. Perhaps you need some help starting and maintaining a new habit or two.
The book, "Hello, Habits" by Fumio Sasaki is set to release in hardcover on January 4, 2021. I happen to have a copy sitting in front of me right now, and it is an interesting read on how to create new habits.
Fumio obviously did his research and applied it to his own situation: he permanently quit drinking, he became a minimalist, and he picked up the habit of writing books (he's written two so far). Fumio weaves modern psychology and neuroscience into this book's framework.
My favorite suggestions are "make your targets [steps towards your goals] ridiculously small," take breaks, and "rest aggressively." *
I am not receiving any compensation for this book review; I'm simply offering another resource that might help you accomplish your goals for the upcoming new year. See this post for additional help with your goals.
However, if you're having a really difficult time motivating yourself to do basic self care and household tasks, you could actually benefit from being evaluated by a medical provider such as a doctor or a psychotherapist. Lack of motivation to get normal tasks done is called "avolition" and it is one marker for depression and other mental health conditions. (Before you self-diagnose your own depression or some other condition, please know that avolition is ONE marker, and you need several specific signs and symptoms to be diagnosed with a mental health condition.)
O.K. back to the book: the fact that Fumio quit drinking is very admirable; however, if you struggle with mis-use of alcohol, another substance, or a behavior that is making your life really difficult or downright impossible (such as over-eating, over-shopping, gambling, pornography, or excessive gaming), then please please please seek out help as soon as possible! There are free 12-Step groups on-line, in person, via phone, and some via email for just about ANY addiction. Additionally, you might need in-patient or out-patient mental health treatment and other medical intervention to overcome these "habits," which are actually health conditions! Google "12 step programs for _______________ (over-eating, over-shopping, gambling, pornography, or excessive gaming, etc.)" for help today. Next, make an appointment with your primary medical provider ASAP to be evaluated for addiction(s) and to involve them in helping create a treatment plan for you. Addictions require more than just an interesting book penned by a professional writer like Fumio. As health conditions, they require medical intervention.
An active addiction aside, if you're looking for an interesting book to help you on your new year's path of habit change, "Hello, Habits" might be an entertaining read. Whatever changes you hope to make in this upcoming year, I wish you great success and increasing health and wellness.
Happy New Year!
Teresa
* Sasaki, F. (2021). Hello, habits : a minimalist's guide to a better life. W.W. Norton & Company. Pg. 276.
Let's get right to it: you're stressed! This time of year is very difficult for many people, especially with this year's social distancing and business/school/activity/fun restrictions. (Yes, I did in fact say "fun" restrictions....)
Here are a few quick ideas on how to bring back some happy into your holidays:
1. Spend time with a pet. Animals are so wonderful. Take your dog out for a walk, just bundle up well if it's cold. Or play with your cat (if they'll let you) or other critter. You'll both feel better for it.
2. Reduce your expectations. We're all living through a global pandemic, so cut yourself some slack! If you don't want to follow your holiday decorating, baking, or gift giving rituals, then DON'T. Or scale back. Instead of a bedazzled Christmas tree drooping from the weight of four generations of ornaments, and hearths overcrowded with enough poinsettias to poison every cat in Connecticut, step back, and afford yourself the luxury of doing things the easy way this year. Put up a wreath. Set up one candle display (advent, menorah, kinara, or other). Bake ONE kind of cookie. Whatever your spiritual or cultural practices are for this time of year, reduce your expectations! No one will DIE if you do, and the reduced stress will help everyone's health.
3. Keep what's most meaningful to you. If you can't bear to live through this season without a bedazzled Christmas tree, then reduce other areas of holiday stress so that you KEEP what is most meaningful to you. For example, I love to give gifts. Love. It. So, I planned, created, bought, wrapped, tagged, and sent. But is my tree--bedazzled or less so--on display? No, not this year. I am maintaining the traditions that matter most to me, and reducing my participation in other holiday traditions to keep my family's stress levels manageable.
4. Set firm boundaries if you need to. If you have relatives who are controlling, dismissive, difficult, or quite frankly abusive, then family events where they are present, even the Zoom-ed ones, can compromise your mental health. Did you catch that? Family events with people who treat you poorly can compromise your mental health. So, set some boundaries for your well-being. How? Here are a few ideas:
Assertiveness has its perks. A calm, enjoyable holiday is one of them!
Happy holidays!
Teresa
In one word, yes. Research demonstrates that weighted blankets do appear to reduce anxiety.*
Perhaps you have seen or heard about weighted blankets, and are curious if such a blanket might help calm your anxious feelings of free-falling through space since Covid-19 turned this world upside down.
Weighted blankets are basically two thin, separate blankets sewn together, filled with batting and heavy beads. The weight of the blanket is surprisingly comforting, as long as you select the correct weight. I recommend choosing a blanket that weighs approximately 10% of your body weight, or as close to 10% as you can get. You don't want to get one that's too heavy for your body size as it could feel uncomfortably heavy and restricting. And too light of a blanket might not help reduce anxious feelings. It could still keep you warm though.
I recently tried using a plush weighted blanket. While it was soft and warm, the weight was definitely a bit too heavy for me; it was three pounds too much. It made it difficult for me to to relax while sitting on the sofa because the blanket was too heavy. But when one of my grown sons tried it out, he loved it so much that he didn't take it off his shoulders the entire time we were visiting. The weight was just perfect for him. So it's important to find a blanket that is a good fit for you, in terms of weight.
Some weighted blankets are machine washable. That's the kind I recommend, because seriously, who needs to make an extra trip to the dry cleaners during a global pandemic?
While you don't need to have anxiety or a prescription in order to purchase a weighted blanket, it's still a good idea to talk to your health care provider (therapist, counselor, doctor, nurse practitioner, etc.) and ask them if using a weighted blanket might enhance your well-being.
Be warm and merry!
Teresa
* Becklund AL, Rapp-McCall L, Nudo J. Using weighted blankets in an inpatient mental health hospital to decrease anxiety. J Integr Med. 2020; Epub ahead of print. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S209549642030131X on 11/30/2020.
* Vinson J, Powers J, Mosesso K. Weighted Blankets: Anxiety Reduction in Adult Patients Receiving Chemotherapy. Clinical Journal of Oncology Nursing. 2020 Aug;24(4):360-368. DOI: 10.1188/20.cjon.360-368.
* Burch, E., Hartog, K.D., Godfredsen, M., Jansen, M., The Use of Weighted Blankets in Patients With Anxiety. Northwestern College Dept. of Nursing. April 2019. Retrieved from https://nwcommons.nwciowa.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1016&context=celebrationofresearch on 11/30/2020.
Part of good mental health is routinely taking time to look for and acknowledge all the good in our lives. It's similar to celebrating Thanksgiving, except it's a daily instead of yearly practice.
Considering all we have to be thankful for is the most important part of celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday, much more important than a stuffed turkey or pumpkin pie. What if this year, instead of hyper-focusing on turkey or pies, we intentionally focus on developing a routine of gratitude?
It's a matter of being mindful: intentionally noticing all the good in our lives, and allowing ourselves to feel the emotion of gratitude.
Do you have shelter? Thank goodness!
Do you have water? Yes!
Do you have food? Score!
Can you read this? Awesome! According to the United States Nation Center for Education Statistics, 21% of adults in the United States are functionally illiterate*. That's 43 MILLION adults who can not read this post.
Do you have access to emergency medical care if you were to call 9-1-1? Wow, that is truly amazing!
Friends, we have so much to be thankful for. This is just the very basics, and already by writing this I feel deeper gratitude for what I have. I hope in reading this you feel better too!
However, please know that on-going low moods may indicate your need to be assessed for depression. Depression isn't "cured" with simple gratitude. Depression is a medical condition that requires treatment by licensed health care professionals. Many physical conditions, such as thyroid disorder, may cause depression too. If you've had an annual physical exam this year, your provider has ruled out any underlying health conditions, and you still have trouble finding the good in day-to-day situations, perhaps you need to talk to a therapist or counselor. If you reside in Idaho, feel free to call my office and schedule a telehealth counseling session with me. I'd love to be part of your healing journey.
Be well! I am so thankful you're here today!
Teresa
* Retrieved from https://nces.ed.gov/datapoints/2019179.asp on November 2, 2020
Teresa
